“I’m here with a warrant,” Professor Plum said as he entered the mail room. “I’m looking for Godwin’s Law violations.”

He read the mail. (More)

The paper in Professor Plum’s hand was not a warrant, of course. It was a track form. “Breaking Wind in the sixth?” Ms. Scarlet asked. “Even at 14:1, that was silly.”

Professor Plum shrugged. “I had a chili dog after the second. Breaking Wind seemed like an omen.”

They left to join the resident faculty in the wine cellar library, where they’ll spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”).

In the staff poker game, the Professor of Astrology Janitor faced his own 14-to-1 long shot. He had raised before the flop with the Ace and King of Spades, and Chef reraised. Thinking she probably had Queens or Jacks, he pushed all of his chips into the middle. Chef called and turned over a pair of Kings. The flop brought the Ten and Deuce of Clubs and the Seven of Diamonds, and the Jack of Hearts fell on the turn. The Professor of Astrology Janitor needed one of the three Aces remaining among the 43 cards unseen.

“Come on, Ace!” he cheered as Chef prepared to turn the final card.

It was the Ace of Hearts. Chef politely patted the table and the Professor of Astrology Janitor showed his sympathy with his trademark plaintive mewling. Chef went to the kitchen to make Banana Smoothies, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

Our society is very much like Nazi Germany. And I know you’re not supposed to say ‘Nazi Germany,’ but I don’t care about political correctness. You know, you had a government using its tools to intimidate the population. We now live in a society where people are afraid to say what they actually believe. And it’s because of the PC police, it’s because of politicians, it’s because of news. It’s all of these things are combining to stifle people’s conversation. The reason that is so horrible is because the only way that you have harmony and reach consensus is by talking. But if, in fact, people are afraid to talk, you never reach consensus. And instead you grow further and further apart. And that’s exactly what’s happening, creating a horrible schism that will destroy our nation if we don’t fix it.

Ben in MD

Dear Ben,

We sympathize with your desire for harmony, however we note that outrageous statements like yours deepen the schism you claim to deplore. We’re old enough to remember that what is now derided as “political correctness” was once celebrated as “courtesy.”

We also note that, despite your professed fear, you felt free to make that outrageous statement in public. We note that you have not been made to sew a symbol of shame on your clothing, or crammed into a box car en route to a death camp. In fact the only retaliation you face is criticism from those who disagree, the very “talking” you claim is the only peaceful path toward consensus. And increasingly, part of that consensus is that people who invoke the Holocaust as a metaphor for anything they dislike are either ignorant of history or engaging in what Josh Marshall called “a mix of dishonesty and myopia bordering on genuine evil – simultaneously dishonoring millions of dead and persecuted (not only Jews but gays, gypsies, slavs) while also pumping up the powerful with fantasies of oppression and threat that can lead them to do genuinely awful things.”

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

He may be black, but Ben in MD is right and that’s why I organized the White Man March yesterday. Non-white groups such as La Raza have monthly marches and gatherings with many thousands of participants, while groups advocating for White interests remain relatively silent or hidden from the public. One of the major goals of the White Man March is to demonstrate that pro-White people are able to form a unified front and participate in large-scale action simultaneously, which will send a powerful message to our supporters, our enemies, and those of our race who are still on the fence.

We are planning to show that White people are organized and impassioned, that we know what the anti-white agenda is all about, and that we are dedicated to waking up as many of our folk as possible. We will make it clear that we will not sit idly by as our race is discriminated against, mocked, displaced, and violently attacked, all of which amount to white genocide, according to the United Nation’s own definition of genocide. This is why one of our big messages, which will be displayed on many large banners, is “DIVERSITY” = WHITE GENOCIDE. These banners will spread the message to the public at large in the most effective way possible. This “diversity” agenda is being directed at white countries (and only at white countries) with various programs to ensure that there are less white people at schools and in the work force, which is unfair and discriminatory, taking away money and opportunities from the White citizens. “Diversity” is a codeword for White Genocide.

Kyle in White Blogistan

Dear Kyle,

We note that you publicly deny the actual genocide of eight million Jews during the Holocaust, yet claim ‘genocide’ because white men no longer have exclusive, legally-protected privileges in the U.S. We agree that life is not quite as easy for white men as it was from 1945-65, when you were the beneficiaries of Jim Crow and legal discrimination, as well as beneficiaries of the largest welfare program in U.S. history, the G.I. Bill, which routinely denied benefits to non-white and female veterans. However, we note that the unemployment rate for white men remains significantly lower than for that for non-white men, and only marginally higher than that for women. We also note that while white men are only 31% of the U.S. population, you hold 67% of the seats in Congress, make up 91.8% of Fortune 500 CEOs, are 67% of the guests in prime time cable news, 63% of leading roles in movies, and direct 73% of television shows. Yet despite white male dominance in the workplace, government, corporate board rooms, and our media, you claim to be the victim of genocide. We conclude that you have no idea what that word means.

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

How do I make Chef’s Banana Smoothies?

Smoothly Hungry in Blogistan

Dear Smoothly Hungry,

This is one of Chef’s quickest and easiest recipes. Simply blend 2 cups of chopped ripe bananas together with 3 cups of ice and 1 cup of vanilla yogurt. Bon appétit!

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Sources:

Ben in MD; Josh Marshall.

Kyle in White Blogistan; denies the Holocaust; G.I. Bill excluded non-whites; G.I. Bill excluded women; unemployment by race; unemployment by gender; white men 31% of U.S. population; 67% of seats in Congress; 91.8% of Fortune 500 CEOs; 67% of guests in prime time cable news; 63% of leading roles in films; direct 73% of television shows.

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Good morning! ::hugggggs::