I am sitting in for the Janitor Professor of Astrology. This is my maiden voyage as the presidential astrologer. I expect an invitation for a debate with Bill Nye the Science Guy to arrive momentarily. (More)

BPI Campus is locally famous for the Friday Bippiescopes. Today we branch out into the bigger stage of presidents and presidential candidates. Presidential astrology has largely been abandoned since Nancy Reagan’s personal astrologer was revealed and presumably dispatched by someone claiming to be ‘the adult in the room.’

Astrology is as old a discipline as those people from the Creationist Museum say that humans have been around. Astrology dates to at least the second millennium BCE. Those of us who are old souls or just old might say 6,000 years even. Once considered the scientists, astrologers did not need to hold day jobs as janitors. If not for Isaac Newton, astrologers might still be seen as scientists. Then again, if not for Charles Darwin, those creationists might still be seen as biologists.

For many of today’s pundits, facts are seemingly either optional or inconvenient. How much worse could a presidential astrologer do than these bubble-heads? Even British Intelligence, MI5 employed an astrologer during WWII. That was because Hitler had one and keeping up involves doing whatever is necessary.

Because I do recognize some facts, I have compiled a list of past presidents and our current president by their astrological signs. It may be very helpful to voters who believe astrology is at least “sort of scientific” or even “very scientific.” That would be 42% of Americans.

The birthdays of our presidents past and present cover all the astrological signs. We have elected more Scorpios (six) than any other sign. Tied for second are Aquarius and Capricorn (five each) followed by Pisces, Taurus, Cancer, Leo, Libra (four each). We have elected two each of Aries, Gemini and Virgo and Sagittarius.

In interpreting these sun signs we use some broad categories. The Cardinal signs – Aries Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn – represent dynamic change, movement and great vitality. I am working on fitting Nixon into this description. He did move out of the White House and that may count. Of our 44 presidents, 15 have Cardinal signs.

The Fixed signs – Aquarius, Taurus, Leo, and Scorpio – represent stability, earthiness and fixity. Of our 44 presidents 19 have Fixed signs. The determination of the Fixed signs expresses itself in the form of great willpower. Barack Obama (Leo) fits, as critics insist he is stubborn … except for critics who insist he is vacillating.

The Mutable signs – Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, and Pisces – represent adaptability and interchangeability capable of molding and modifying circumstances and conditions in life. Want confirmation? Chris Christie is a Virgo, and he was very popular until he became unpopular. If that’s not mutability, I don’t know what is.

Maybe you prefer the elemental interpretation. If so, there are Fire signs (Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius), Earth signs (Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn), Air signs (Aquarius, Gemini, and Libra), and Water signs (Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces). Those of us concerned about climate change might choose a Water sign if we lived in the parched and drought-stricken west. If we’ve been flooded more times than we can count, we might rather have an Earth sign in charge. If you prefer another great communicator, pick an Air sign. Then again, if you want clean air and a reduction in carbon maybe you’d want fewer words and more action.

Our Presidents past and present:

Aquarius (Jan 20 to Feb 18) 2/9 William Harrison, 2/12 Abraham Lincoln, 1/29 William McKinley, 1/30 Franklin Roosevelt, 2/6 Ronald Reagan

Pisces (Feb 18 to Mar 20) 2/22 George Washington, 3/16 James Madison, 3/15 Andrew Jackson, 3/18 Grover Cleveland,

Aries (Mar 20 to Apr 20) 4/13 Thomas Jefferson, 3/29 John Tyler

Taurus (Apr 20 to May 21) 4/28 James Monroe, 4/23 James Buchanan, 4/27 Ulysses Grant, 5/8 Harry Truman

Gemini (May 21 to Jun 21) 5/29 John Kennedy, 6/12 George H.W. Bush

Cancer (Jun 21 to July 23) 7/11 John Quincy Adams, 7/4 Calvin Coolidge, 7/14 Gerald Ford, 7/6 George W. Bush

Leo (July 23 to Aug 23) 8/20 Benjamin Harrison, 8/10 Herbert Hoover, 8/19 Bill Clinton, 8/4 Barack Obama

Virgo (Aug 23 to Sept 23) 8/27 Lyndon Johnson, 9/15 William Taft

Libra (Sept 23 to Oct 23) 10/4 Rutherford Hayes, 10/5 Chester Arthur, 10/14 Dwight Eisenhower, 10/1 Jimmy Carter

Scorpio (Oct 23 to Nov 22) 10/30 John Adams, 11/2 James Polk, 11/19 James Garfield, 10/27 Theodore Roosevelt, 11/2 Warren Harding

Sagittarius (Nov 22 to Dec 22) 11/23 Franklin Pierce, 12/5 Martin Van Buren

Capricorn (Dec 22 to Jan 20) 11/24 Zachary Taylor, 1/7 Millard Fillmore, 12/29 Andrew Johnson, 12/28 Woodrow Wilson, 1/9 Richard Nixon

Possible Presidential Candidates:

If you believe in data, you might reach the conclusion that Americans prefer Scorpios. That would give Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden an edge as both are Scorpios. If you liked FDR or Reagan, you might like Paul Ryan as he’s the only Aquarian in the current 2016 crop. If you like Barack Obama you’re out of luck, as no Leos are on the list yet. If you believe that the signs will eventually be evenly represented, you might opt for one the underrepresented Virgos, such as Chrisite or Mike Huckabee. Rick Santorum is a Taurus. Our last Taurus president was Harry Truman. Can you hear, “Give ’em hell Rick?” I didn’t think so.

Mitt Romney is a Pisces (3/12) and some might have said that he fancied himself the Mormon George Washington. Hmm, maybe not. As for Elizabeth Warren, I do not hold it against her that both she and George W. Bush are Cancers. Her birthday puts her close enough to the cusp that she may be the Leo that astrologically-inclined Obama fans are hoping for. As for Rand Paul, Capricorns are known for boundless ambition. Imagine Nixon worshiping Aqua Buddha and Ayn Rand. I rest my case.

Democrats:

Joe Biden: 11/20 Scorpio
Hilary Clinton: 10/26 Scorpio
Elizabeth Warren: 6/22 Cancer

Republicans:

Chris Christie: 9/6 Virgo
Ted Cruz: 12/22 Sagittarius
Mike Huckabee: 8/24 Virgo
Rand Paul: 1/7 Capricorn
Paul Ryan: 1/29 Aquarius
Rick Santorum: 5/10 Taurus

Predictions:

The Democrats will nominate a water sign. Our water problems are significant. We either have not enough (the drought in the west) or too much (snow, rains and floods in most other places). We need clean, safe drinking water, just ask West Virginia or North Carolina. Lest you be in awe of astrology, you’ll notice that all three possible candidates are water signs.

The Republicans may follow their pattern of nominating the last cycle’s runner-up. Both Santorum and Ryan could be considered runners-up. If they nominate Santorum the war on women will take on a whole new meaning. He does not believe in birth control. Instead of “Give ’em hell Rick,” I predict chants of “Go to hell Rick” made by women standing in line to get a four-year supply of birth control to make it through his administration. His Taurean fixedness does not hold much promise of compromise. If they choose Aquarian Paul Ryan expect Reaganesque happy talk which conceals the real agenda.

I predict that the Republicans will not nominate Ted Cruz. We’ve only had two Sagittarian presidents – Van Buren and Pierce – and neither was very successful. I will give Cruz credit for his actions lining up with his fire sign. He’s one heck of a flamethrower.

As ancient and informative as astrology can be, you can help decide who actually becomes the candidate by joining your local Democratic Party. Get busy no matter what your sun sign is. As Peter Drucker said, “The best way to predict the future is to create it.”