“It’s the fourth time we’ve done that,” Professor Plum said as he sipped the eggnog, “and it never gets old.”

He read the mail. (More)

Professor Plum then took Ms. Scarlet’s hand, although this time they didn’t leave to join the resident faculty in the wine cellar library and spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”). There was also no staff poker game this week. Instead the faculty and staff were gathered around Árbol Squirrel to serenade the Squirrel on the fourth anniversary of his BPI premiere, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

Forget the mail. Just tell them how to make Emeril Lagasse’s Smoked Duck Hash with Poached Eggs and Woodland Cream and then get out here and join us!

Chef in Blogistan

Dear Chef,

Yes ma’am. First prepare the Woodland Cream by soaking ½ cup of dried porcini mushrooms in ½ cup of warm water for 15 minutes. Then combine 1 Tablespoon of olive oil, ½ cup of fresh chantrelle mushrooms, 1 Tablespoon of minced shallots, 1 teaspoon of minced garlic, ¼ cup of chopped green onions, 1 teaspoon of Creole seasoning, ½ teaspoon of salt, and 2 turns of freshly ground black pepper in a small saucepan and sauté over high heat for 1 minute. Squeeze the extra liquid from the porcini mushrooms into a small bowl, and add the mushrooms to the saucepan. Strain the mushroom liquid through a fine sieve and add it to the pan, then cook for 2 minutes. Add 1½ cups of veal stock and bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer for 6 minutes. Slowly stir in ½ cup of heavy cream, heat to a boil and cook for 2 minutes, then reduce heat to low and simmer for 5 minutes.

Next heat ¼ cup of olive oil in a large skillet. When the oil is hot, add 2 cups of diced potatoes and sauté for 4 minutes, stirring regularly, until the potatoes are golden brown. Add 1 pound of smoked duck breast, chopped into ¼-inch pieces, 6 Tablespoons of chopped onion, 4 Tablespoons of shredded carrots, 2 Tablespoons of chopped bell peppers, 2 teaspoons of minced garlic, 2 Tablespoons of chopped fresh parsley, 1 teaspoon of Creole seasoning, 1 teaspoon of salt, and 6 turns of freshly ground black pepper, then sauté for 6 minutes, stirring regularly. Emeril serves this brunch with 1 cup of hash, topped by a poached egg and drizzled with ½ cup of Woodland Cream. Bon appétit!

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Sources:

Emeril’s Smoked Duck Hash with Poached Eggs and Woodland Cream

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

Are you singing the Squirrel’s traditional holiday tune?

Traditionalist in Blogistan

Dear Traditionalist,

Of course!

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On the first day of Solstice, a squirrel said to me:

Red Squirrel Tree

Come dance around my tree.

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On the second day of Solstice, a squirrel said to me:

Red Squirrel Nut

Watch out for my nuts, but
Come dance around my tree.

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On the third day of Solstice, a squirrel said to me:

Red Squirrel Baby

Don’t wake the baby!
Watch out for my nuts, but
Come dance around my tree.

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On the fourth day of Solstice, a squirrel said to me:

Red Squirrel Screen

Who are all those people?
Don’t wake the baby!
Watch out for my nuts, hey,
That’s NOT dancing ’round my tree.

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On the fifth day of Solstice, a squirrel said to me:

Get Off My Lawn

GETT OFF MYY LAWWWN!
Who are all those people?
Don’t wake the baby!
Watch out for my nuts, hey,
That’s NOT dancing ’round my tree.

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On the sixth day of Solstice, a squirrel said to me:

Put Some Clothes On

Put some frigging clothes on.
GETT OFF MYY LAWWWN!
Who are all those people?
Don’t wake the baby!
Hey, those were my nuts, and
You can’t dance around my tree!

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On the seventh day of Solstice, a squirrel said to me:

Red Squirrel Bottle

Yes I’ll have some eggnog.
Put some frigging clothes on.
GETT OFF MYY LAWWWN!
Who are all those people?
Don’t wake the baby!
Hey, those were my nuts, and
You can’t dance around my tree!

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On the eighth day of Solstice, a squirrel said to me:

Red Squirrel Drinking

My that tastes delicious,
Sure I’ll have more eggnog.
Please put some clothes on.
PLEEEASE MOW MYY LAWWWN!
Who are all those people?
Is that my baby?
I can get more nuts.
Could you please find another tree?

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On the ninth day of Solstice, a squirrel said to me:

Squirrel Fluffy Tail

Yes my tail is fluffy.
My that tastes delicious,
Sure I’ll have more eggnog.
Won’t you take more clothes off?
PLEEEASE MOW MYY LAWWWN!
Who are all those people?
I don’t have a baby.
Never much liked nuts.
Could you please find another tree?

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On the tenth day of Solstice, a squirrel said to me:

Yes My Tail Is Fluffy

Yes it helps me balance,
And my tail is fluffy.
My that tastes delicious,
Sure I’ll have more eggnog.
What are clothes for anyway?
THAT’S MY GARDEN GNOME!
Oh wait that’s your brother.
I don’t have a baby.
Never much liked nuts, but,
Would you like to buy my tree?

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On the eleventh day of Solstice, a squirrel said to me:

Red Squirrel Cat

Oops, dear, excuse me!
Guess I lost my balance,
And my tail is fluffy.
My that tastes delicious,
Keep that eggnog comin’!
What are clothes for anyway?
THAT’S MY GARDEN GNOME!
Oh wait that’s your sister.
Whaddya mean a baby?
You’re a bunch of nuts, and,
Of course you can climb my tree!

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On the twelfth day of Solstice, a squirrel said to me:

Red Squirrel Sleeping

Whoa I’ve got a headache!
Oops, dear excuse me!
Yes it’s back there somewhere,
And my tail is fluffy.
My that was delicious,
Please no more eggnog!
Whose clothes am I wearing?
THAT’S MY GARDEN GNOME!
Oh wait that’s my wife,
Feeding the baby.
He’s a little nut, and,
We’re all living in MYYYYYY TREEEEEEEE!

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Happy Squirrelidays!