“Might the Constitution have been written by aliens who won’t reach Earth for another three centuries?” Norm read, trying not to roll his eyes. “Find out tonight on Future Aliens.” (More)
Midday Matinee is our people watching, people doing and people being feature. Join the Woodland Creatures for an afternoon break.
Welcome back to Tuesday’s Tale, a weekly feature where we collaborate to write a story. Previous Tuesday’s Tales include The Cryptics and The Buffoons. We follow the basic rules of the “Yes, And” improvisational game – accept everything written so far as part of the story, and add your own paragraph (or so) where the last addition left off – except you needn’t begin your addition with “Yes, and.” I’ll start the story….
Note: Today’s Tale is an homage to the History Channel series Ancient Aliens. addisnana offered an explanation and examples of the series’ logic-bending formula back in January.
“Umm, guys?” Norm asked, putting down his script. “This is ridiculous.”
Dave pushed the intercom button in the control room. “And your point is?”
Norm shrugged. He usually tried to avoid conversations with the show’s director. “No point, I guess. It’s just–”
“You’re our narrator,” Penny said over Dave’s shoulder. “And not our first choice. The guy with the Voice Of God voice moved to another network. We do have a third choice. Should we call him?”
“No, no,” Norm said. “I’m good here.”
The show’s producer was almost as insufferable as the director. Fortunately, she had two redeeming qualities. Well, four, if you also counted her eyes. Which he did. Big, sparking green eyes. Eyes you could look at for….
“Will we get another take sometime today?” Dave asked.
“Yes,” Norm said. He sipped his water. “Picking up after the teaser in three, two…. Future alien theorists say our Constitution may have been literally light-years ahead of its time.” He paused. “That’s grammatically incorrect. A light-year is a measure of distance, not time.”
“And time and space are interconnected,” Stacy said. “Einstein proved that.”
“But not that way,” Norm objected.
“Which of us has a Ph.D?” Stacy asked, rolling her eyes, “and who was hired only because he has a not-quite-the-Voice-Of-God?”
Stacy, the show’s resident scientist, wasn’t. Her Ph.D was in – Norm checked his notes – postmodern critical studies. Whatever that meant.
“Just read the script, Norm,” Dave said. “From right after the teaser, please.”
Norm nodded and sipped his water again. “Future alien theorists say our Constitution may have been literally light-years ahead of its time. Many of our Founding Fathers were amateur astronomers. Might they have been guided by aliens who won’t arrive for another three centuries? The best evidence may come from halfway around the world, says theorist Stacy Luvbutt.”
“That’s Luvbust,” Stacy said.
Norm took a deep breath. And another. “The best evidence may come from halfway around the world, says theorist Stacy Luvbust.”
Stacy crossed her arms. “Hmmph.”
“What?” Norm asked. “I said it just like you did.”
“A little heavy on the bust, weren’t you?” Stacy said.
Norm resisted the urge to say “If the bra fits.” Instead he took yet another deep breath. “The best evidence may come from halfway around the world, says theorist Stacy Luvbust.”
“Oh puh-leeze!” Stacy said. “They’re not tiny!”
“Stacy,” Dave said, “can we move on?”
“Yes,” Penny agreed. “I’d like to finish this episode before the future aliens get here.”