“I’m going to ask the Faculty Senate to rename the BPI storm shelter,” Professor Plum said. “They should call it the BPI Doomsday Bunker.”

At least he read the mail. (More)

Professor Plum then picked up two bottles of water and two granola bars, one each for himself and Ms. Scarlet, before they left to join the resident faculty in the wine cellar mail room where they’ll spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”).

In the staff poker game, the Professor of Astrology Janitor seemed to wish he could find a bunker of his own. Anytime he had a pair of Tens, Chef had a pair of Jacks. Or Kings. Thus, when the Professor of Astrology Janitor raised with a pair of Aces and Chef reraised, he looked at her forlornly and said “Let me guess: you have Jokers?” Of course there are no Jokers or wild cards in the staff poker game. Chef smiled. “Why don’t we split the pot now?” she asked, showing him the other two Aces. He nodded and began his plaintive mewling. Chef went to the kitchen to make Powdered Egg Omelets, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

While all the political hoopla in Congress will eventually lead to an agreement on raising the debt ceiling, the fact is that we are very quickly approaching our limit as a nation. At some point our creditors are going to pull the plug. They understand that the $200 trillion in obligations we have will never be met. Countries like Russia, China, and even the private central banking conglomerates are positioning their chess pieces right now for when this day comes. The end result is going to widespread financial and economy destruction, a meltdown of the U.S. dollar, and a collapse of our very way of life as tens of millions of Americans will be instantly impoverished.

The U.S. Treasury Department has confirmed it can happen. The military and DHS are actively war-gaming contingency plans and stockpiling ammunition, recruiting soldiers for interment operations, and arming up local police forces. Furthermore, governments around the world are training for it. Take their lead, and do the same on an individual level by developing your own long-term preparedness plan. Set aside food in case it is no longer available at grocery stores. Save some gold and silver to utilize as a mechanism of exchange should the dollar crash. Learn to use a firearm and have ammunition on hand to defend yourself when the masses start fighting for whatever resources remain.

Mac in NY

Dear Mac,

We congratulate your gift for fearmongering. That said, we note that your ‘facts’ are, well, not. For example, the claim of a $200 trillion U.S. federal debt is based on the payments for all spending in the 2010 U.S. federal budget, compounded for inflation over 60 years, with no increase from 2010 revenue levels. This is like a 30-year-old comparing lifetime living expenses to current salary. The rest of your ‘facts’ link to your own website or other conspiracy websites, none of whom has a sterling reputation for factual accuracy. However, based on your site’s advertising, we conclude that peddling scary stories is a good business model.

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

Will the Faculty Senate rename the BPI storm shelter the BPI Doomsday Bunker? If so, what should I pack? Also, do I have to eat Chef’s Powdered Egg Omelets?

Curiously Queasy in Blogistan

Dear Curiously Queasy,

We doubt the Faculty Senate will vote on that name change, as doing so would require a six-hour debate over whether to take a bathroom break and that might make their weekend a bit messy. Should you need to use the BPI storm shelter, please bring a change of clothes and a bottle of wine good book. As for the omelets, we hope Chef was kidding. We’ve seen recipes for powdered egg omelets and … oh good, she made them with real eggs.

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Sources:

Thanks to addisnana for finding today’s mail.

Mac in NY; comparing lifetime living expenses to current salary; site’s advertising.

Powdered Egg Omelet recipe.

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Happy Sunday!