Professor Plum asked Chef is breakfast would be served with breast milk. After a stunned silence, he added “Well, it’s the natural order.”

He read the mail. (More)

Chef assured Professor Plum that should he produce any breast milk, she would cheerfully look up the procedures for pasteurization. He nodded and left with Ms. Scarlet to join the resident faculty in the wine cellar library, where they’ll spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”).

In the staff poker game, the Professor of Astrology Janitor was also pondering the natural order, or the lack thereof. He called her opening raise with his Ace and Queen of Diamonds, and knew he had the best hand when the King and Ten of Spades fell with the Jack of Hearts on the flop. Chef checked and he checked behind her, not wanting to reveal the strength of his hand yet. The Six of Hearts at the turn gave him no cause for concern, and he quickly called Chef’s bet. She offered a pot-sized bet when the Jack of Spades came on the river.

If Chef had any two Spades, her flush would beat his Ace-high straight. A King-Jack, Jack-Ten, or pair of Kings, Tens, or Sixes, would give her a full house. A hugely unlikely pair of Jacks would give her four of a kind. But she might also have two Hearts, betting her flush draw at the turn and now trying to buy the pot with a bluff. He knew he should fold, as the hands that could beat him outnumbered Chef’s likely bluffing hands by more than the 2:1 pot odds. Still, he had to know.

He called and Chef turned over the Ace and Queen of Hearts. He started to grin and then stopped. He had not lost, but neither had he won. Thus the natural order was preserved, and he began his plaintive mewling. Chef headed to the kitchen to make Natural Blueberry Oatmeal, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….


Dear Ms. Crissie,

I’m so used to liberals telling conservatives that they’re anti-science. But liberals who defend this and say it is not a bad thing are very anti-science. When you look at biology – when you look at the natural world – the roles of a male and a female in society and in other animals, the male typically is the dominant role. The female, it’s not antithesis, or it’s not competing, it’s a complementary role. Having mom as primary bread winner is bad for kids and bad for marriage.

It is a matter of fact that children in a household with a mother who spends more time at home than out of the home, with a father who is earning the bulk of the income for the home, are the most well-adjusted youth in society. You may not like it. You may not like me saying it. But it’s a fact.

Erick in GA

Dear Erick,

We applaud your willingness to consider that science is useful in public policy. That said, we note that the requirements of science are not met by vague claims for which you lack empirical data. Yes, scientists see examples of male-dominant species, including one of our nearest genetic relatives, the chimpanzee. But they also see examples of female-dominant species, including our other nearest genetic relative, the bonobo. To see only the evidence that fits your self-serving theory is not scientifically examining the natural order. It’s just stereotype confirmation.

Finally, when considering human relationships, science, and the natural order, we suggest one should also look at studies of humans. And when we do, we find that 50 years of research have confirmed that the children of working moms do just as well as or better than the children of stay-at-home moms. Indeed researchers found that the children of working moms were rated as higher-achieving by teachers, and had fewer problems with anxiety and depression.

You may not like being called a scientifically ignorant defender of male privilege. You may not like our saying it. But it’s a fact.


Dear Ms. Crissie,

Please tell me Chef is not making Natural Blueberry Oatmeal with … umm … milk from a multiply-joweled member of the resident faculty.

Sh-udder-ing in Blogistan

Dear Sh-udder-ing,

You can relax. Chef makes Natural Blueberry Oatmeal with 1¾ cups of 2% milk, brought to a boil in a small saucepan. She then reduces the heat and stirs in 1 cup of quick cooking oats and a pinch of salt, letting the oats cook for 1-2 until softened before stirring in ⅓ cup of brown sugar, ½ teaspoon ground cinnamon. Finally she spoons the oatmeal into two serving bowls and tops each with ¾ cup of fresh blueberries. Bon appétit!



Erick in GA; But it’s a fact; chimpanzees and bonobos; stereotype confirmation; 50 years of research confirms.


Happy Sunday!