“Is he okay?” Professor Plum asked as he came into the mail room.

“He’ll fine,” Chef said. “His flight would probably have been delayed anyway.” (More)

We were all concerned when we heard that, yet again, the Squirrel was not invited to the Annual White House Correspondent’s Dinner, otherwise known as “Nerd Prom.” Yes, he hates to travel and he realizes he’s neither part of the White House press corps nor an A-list celebrity. Still, he hoped they might squeeze him in.

“It’s not like I would have eaten a whole meal,” he texted on his Blewberry. “I don’t even need a chair. I could sit on a table. I’d need one near the front, so I don’t have to look over people’s heads, but I don’t think that’s too much to ask, right?”

Professor Plum and Ms. Scarlet told him not to give up and hoped he would be invited next year, then left to join the resident faculty in the wine cellar library, where they’ll spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”).

Their words seemed to cheer him up, as he went back to his Blewberry, polishing his routine in case he’s asked to headline next year. Chef explained that the audience usually expect the jokes to be current.

The Squirrel nodded. “It’s just an outline,” he texted. “I know who the nuts will be, even if the nuttitude changes from year to year. I’ll fill in the blanks when they invite me.”

Chef agreed and left to make Spinach and Potatoes with Pine Nuts and Bacon Omelets, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

It was nice to talk to the press last night. I know CNN has taken some knocks lately but the fact is, I admire their commitment to covering all sides of the story, just in case one of them happens to be accurate.

In fact, some of my former advisors have gone over to the dark side. David Axelrod now works for MSNBC, which is a nice change of pace, since MSNBC used to work for David Axelrod.

The media is changing, though. I remember when BuzzFeed was something I did in college at 2am.

Maureen Dowd said I could solve all of my problems if I was just more like Michael Douglass in The American President. I know Michael was at the dinner and I asked for his secret. Could it be that he was an actor in an Aaron Sorkin liberal fantasy?

I joke, but I respect the press. I understand that we have different jobs. My job is to be president. Their job is to keep me humble. Frankly, I think I’m doing my job better.

I’ve attached a video of my speech, to help the Squirrel with his research.

Barack in D.C.

Dear Mr. President,

Thank you for the kind letter, and for the video. The Squirrel said it will help him write better jokes in case he’s asked to headline the event next year.

Still, we wonder why Beltway insiders call this event “Nerd Prom.” We agree with the Squirrel that this sounds a bit self-congratulatory. While we think his “Elite Prom” may be too harsh, we suggest that “Beltway Insider’s Prom” would be accurate.

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

Is there anything else in those Spinach and Potatoes with Pine Nuts and Bacon Omelets? I mean, besides the eggs? It seems like the name of the recipe lists pretty much all of the ingredients, right?

Questioningly Hungry in Blogistan

Dear Questioningly Hungry,

Chef says the name of the recipe does list almost all of the ingredients, but there are a few more. She toasts 2 Tablespoons of pine nuts in a dry skillet over medium heat until they are fragrant, then removes them and cooks 2 slices of chopped bacon until it’s crispy. She next adds ½ diced medium onion and a pinch of salt, cooking the onions until they turn translucent, then adds 2 thinly-sliced new potatoes and 2 Tablespoons of water. Once the potatoes are tender, she adds another 2 Tablespoons of water and 2 cups of washed and chopped fresh spinach, a handful at a time. When the spinach is wilted, Chef stirs the pine nuts back in and removes the skillet from the heat. She then whisks four eggs until frothy and pours them in a buttered skillet over medium-low heat. As the eggs begin to set up, Chef sprinkles the other ingredients over half of the omelet, along with 1 ounce of crumbled feta cheese, and then folds the omelet over. Bon appétit!

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Sources:

Barack in D.C.; Elite Prom.

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Happy Sunday!