I went out to buy a new pair of jeans yesterday. I was unsuccessful. I tried really hard. (More)

Midday Matinee is our people watching, people doing and people being feature. Join the Woodland Creatures for an afternoon break.

I spent an hour trying on jeans in the women’s department. I wore a favorite pair of Levi’s because they fit and I like them. The exact same line (525’s straight leg) and size (8) was either way too tight or way too big. I am picturing foreign workers with a stack of sizing labels all mixed up which they attach willy-nilly to whatever pair comes down the assembly line to their station. I went back out and got a couple of pairs a size smaller and a couple of pairs a size larger than what I was wearing. Remember, the pair that fit well that I liked. Actually I brought in almost every pair of 525’s they had.

At one point I had twenty pairs of jeans in the dressing room. I started to measure before bothering to step into a pair. I held up my jeans to each new pair. The waists differed by over an inch and a half and the bigger sizes weren’t necessarily the ones with the bigger waists. This is not a good kind of random surprise. They should serve drinks for this experience. I needed one.

Maybe jeans are like cars and one should never buy jeans made on a Monday. Maybe the Chinese workers are getting their revenge for low wages and poor working conditions. I do sympathize with this possibility and get that going on strike is probably not a possibility for Chinese workers. Maybe someone in ‘management’ was ordered to cut production costs and so they just used less denim. Maybe they thought they were helping the obesity epidemic in America by freaking out women who no longer fit into a size 8. One pair of size 12’s ended up being the tiniest waisted jeans in the dressing room. They will send some poor woman off to the gym screaming. The twiggy that they might fit will never, for reasons of vanity even try them on.

I came home without any new jeans. At least I know that trying to buy them on-line is out of the question unless I want to singlehandedly rescue the US Post Office. I guess I’ll just start patching my patches and love my old jeans some more.