“You should put on some dry clothes,” Chef said as Professor Plum splish-sploshed into the mail room.

“What about my freedom?” Professor Plum asked. He read the mail. (More)

Ms. Scarlet explained that Professor Plum had looked a bit too closely at the campus waterfall. She then led him off to change clothes before they joined the resident faculty in the wine cellar library, where they’ll spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”).

In the staff poker game, the Professor of Astrology Janitor was pondering a different kind of freedom as he looked at his dwindling stack of chips. Humming a Kris Kristofferson song made famous by Janis Joplin, he peeked at a pair of black Jacks and moved all-in. Chef looked at her cards, called, and turned up her Ace and King of Diamonds. The flop brought the Ace of Spades and the Six and Deuce of Hearts, giving Chef the lead with a pair of Aces. The Jack of Hearts on the turn gave the Professor of Astrology Janitor three of a kind, but also completed Chef’s Heart flush. The Professor of Astrology had already begun his plaintive mewling when the Six of Clubs fell on the river, making him a full house. He belted out “Me and Bobby McGee” in tones that made Pootie the Precious dive under the poker table and sent Chef to the kitchen to finish her Italian Sausage, Tomato, and Leek Breakfast Casserole, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….


Dear Ms. Crissie,

What in the world is going on? Ron Paul, the Internet grassroots candidate, who was at the right place at the right time to lead the rEVOLution, attacks his own grassroots supporters through an agency of the United Nations to deport them from their own domain names after 5 years of nothing but unlimited, unconditional support on our part? Back in 2007 we put our lives on hold for Ron, and we invested close to 10,000 hours of tears, sweat and hard work into this site at great personal sacrifice. We helped raise millions of dollars for him, we spread his message of liberty as far and wide as we possibly could, and we went out of our way to defend him against the unjustified attacks by his opponents. Now that his campaigns are over and he no longer needs us, he wants to take it all away – and send us off to a UN tribunal? That’s not cool! We want our old pre-retirement Ron Paul back!

RonPaul.com in Blogistan

Dear RonPaul.com,

We understand your frustration. After all, you’ve spent six years of selling t-shirts, hats, bumper stickers, and other items that would be worthless without the Ron Paul name, and saying you are “not a grassroots-only site” while asking people to email grassroots@RonPaul.com for more information. We also find it curious that you tell site visitors not to contact you with “requests to be removed from a physical mailing list (we don’t have one),” yet you offer to sell Ron Paul “a complete liberty package consisting of RonPaul.com and our 170k mailing list” and add “there is little doubt that our mailing list would have enabled Ron Paul to raise several million dollars for the liberty movement this year.” That said, we note that you are violating the 1999 Anticybersquatting Consumer Protection Act. Claims under that law are routinely arbitrated by the United Nations’ World Intellectual Property Organization, because cybersquatting often crosses national boundaries. We conclude with the comment of Max Rivlin-Nadler, who wrote of your dispute: “In Libertarianism, nothing is free, except Freedom, which isn’t really all that free anyway.”


Dear Ms. Crissie,

Under the broad banner of “health,” the federal government not only is telling Americans what to eat, it’s also telling us to make our homes safer. This week, the Obama administration released a “bold new vision for addressing the nation’s health and economic burdens caused by preventable hazards associated with the home.” The Obama administration says all Americans must have “healthy housing.” What happened to freedom?

Susan in VA

Dear Susan,

By “freedom” you obviously mean the chance to live in a home that is not “dry, clean, pest free, safe, contaminant free, well ventilated, and well maintained and thermally controlled” – the characteristics listed in the Department of Housing and Urban Development’s Advancing Healthy Housing proposal. The HUD press release notes that Americans spend 70% of their time in their homes, and that millions live in homes with moderate to severe health hazards including dilapidated structures, roofing, heating, plumbing, and electrical deficiencies, water leaks, pests, and high radon gas levels. These and other risks are linked to a wide range of injuries and illnesses that result in lost time from school and work and cost billions of dollars. This project will fund research and foster cooperation among federal, state, and local agencies to help ensure that more Americans live in healthy homes. Clearly that’s the first step on the slippery slope to a United Nations one-world government with black helicopters patrolling mandatory bike paths. Or, we suggest it may be simply a sensible project to improve the lives of hardworking families.


Dear Ms. Crissie,

What about my freedom to enjoy Chef’s Italian Sausage, Tomato, and Leek Breakfast Casserole? How can I do that without the recipe?

Hungry for Freedom in Blogistan

Dear Hungry for Freedom,

Your freedom to enjoy Chef’s Italian Sausage, Tomato, and Leek Breakfast Casserole does indeed hinge on having the recipe. First brown, drain, and crumble 1 pound of Italian sausage. Next place 4½ cups of stale bread cubes in a buttered 9×13″ baking pan and sprinkle on 2 cups of grated sharp cheddar cheese. In a separate bowl, mix 10 beaten eggs, 4 cups of milk, 1 tsp each of dry mustard, salt, and black pepper, pour evenly over the bread crumbs and cheese. Thinly-slice ½ each of Roma tomatoes and leeks and spread them over the mixture, then top with the crumbled sausage. Cover and let sit for 10 minutes – or refrigerate overnight – then bake covered at 325° for one hour. Remove cover for the last 15 minutes to brown the top. Let cool for five minutes before serving. Bon appétit!



RonPaul.com in Blogistan; selling t-shirts, hats, bumper stickers, and other items that would be worthless without the Ron Paul name; not a grassroots-only site; email grassroots@RonPaul.com for more information; 1999 Anticybersquatting Consumer Protection Act; routinely arbitrated by U.N. World Intellectual Property Organization; Max Rivlin-Nadler.

Susan in VA; characteristics listed in HUD’s proposal; HUD press release.


Happy Sunday!