The resident faculty had the BPI cheerleaders perform outside the mail room this morning. As the staff didn’t know the campus had cheerleaders, we hope it was a clue. (More)

First our thanks to last week’s writers:

On Monday, you shared your stories of offline activism in Things We Did This Week, addisnana mused on Watching the Cat Play in Midday Matinee, and winterbanyan saw Vector-Borne Disease on the Rise in Our Earth.

On Tuesday, Winning Progressive shared Comments at the New York Times in Morning Feature, the Squirrel distinguished Bullying, Bluffing, and Negotiating in Furthermore!, readers helped tell Tuesday’s Tale: Deck the Halls in Midday Matinee, addisnana explored Catalunya’s Moves Toward Independence in Evening Focus, and winterbanyan asked Where Have Our Winters Gone? in Our Earth.

On Wednesday, Winning Progressive offered A Shout Out to the American People in Morning Feature, the Squirrel probed The Emanuel-Snowe War on Christmas in Furthermore!, addisnana shared On Wheelchairs and the ADA in Midday Matinee, and winterbanyan reported that Antarctic Microbes May Hint at E.T. in Our Earth.

On Thursday, we discussed Backlash, Redux: The War on Men in Morning Feature, addisnana offered The Party Grimm in Furthermore!, triciawyse brought us Fursdai Furries in Midday Matinee, and winterbanyan shared a Return to Doha Climate Talks in Our Earth.

On Friday, we mused on Fracture: The GOP, Budget Talks, and the Mayacalypse in Morning Feature and triciawyse offered Frieday Critters in Midday Matinee.

On the weekend, we pondered Hope, Fear, and Tea Leaves in Budget Talks and Marriage Equality in Saturday’s Morning Feature, Ms. Crissie was asked Yea-Nay? in Sunday’s Morning Feature, Winning Progressive brought us Weekend Reading in Furthermore!, we chuckled at Silly Sunday: Do You Have What I Have? in Evening Focus, and winterbanyan shared our weekly Eco News Roundup in Our Earth.

Note: Please share your stories of offline political activism in Things We Did This Week.

Thus we return to the cheerleaders outside the mail room as the resident faculty made their way from the wine cellar library where they spent the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”) to the hot tub faculty lounge for their weekly game where the underwear goes flying planning conference.

As Blogistan Polytechnic Institute has no sports teams, and thus no cheerleaders, the staff weren’t sure exactly who was dancing in the corridor and chanting: “Gimme a Y! Gimme an E! Gimme an S! What does spell?”

Reluctantly, we opened the mail room door and peeked out, thereby confirming two facts. First, shaved legs are apparently optional for the BPI cheerleaders. Second, so are double chins.

We thanked Professor Plum and Ms. Scarlet and watched them hop and pom-pom-shake their way down the corridor and out toward the Squirrel’s tree. He scampered in moments later looking as if he’d just ducked out of a dinner party with a hawk.

“Please tell me I didn’t see what I think I just saw,” he texted on his Blewberry.

“Dey haz big sparklee ballz,” Pootie the Precious replied on her iHazPhone.

As if to demonstrate, she batted a spongee ball studded with blue mylar strips across the floor. The staff agreed that Pootie the Precious would be a far more interesting cheerleader, at least for thirty seconds, before she lay down to nap.

We also agreed that the nap was perhaps less appropriate cheerleader behavior, unless one were watching the South Blogistan Buccaneers, who also seemed to nap through the last three minutes of their game yesterday. Not that the staff are still stinging from watching the Bucs blow an 11-point fourth-quarter lead – and any hope of a playoff berth – and letting the Phillystan Eagles snap an eight-game losing streak with a final play touchdown. We’re over it. Dammit.

This is why BPI has no sports teams.

And also no cheerleaders, which returned our attention to the resident faculty’s weekly clue. It was easy enough to decipher, as the text of their cheer was, in effect, Getting to Yes. Thus the staff concluded that the resident faculty will revisit their discussion from last August, with a special focus on the ongoing budget discussions between President Obama and Speaker John Boehner.

Or else they plan to do the splits, in which case we’ll need to notify the campus health clinic….


Happy Monday!