Professor Plum walked into the mail room carrying a box of knickknacks. Or maybe they were geegaws. “I brought you stuff,” he said, smiling proudly.

Yet again, he read the mail. (More)

“Oh goodie! Odds and ends!” the Professor of Astrology Janitor said. He took one out of the box. “Is this an odd, or an end?”

“That’s an odd,” Professor Plum replied. “The ones at the bottom of the box are the ends.”

With that eternal mystery resolved, Professor Plum took Ms. Scarlet’s hand and they left to join the resident faculty in the wine cellar library, where they’ll spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”).

The Professor of Astrology Janitor returned his attention to the staff poker game and the pair of Jacks he had just been dealt. He opened the pot with a raise, and Chef reraised. Buoyed by having learned to distinguish odds from ends, or perhaps by tchotchkes, he pushed a stack of chips into the center of the table for another raise. Chef looked at the pot and her remaining chips, and announced “I’m all in.”

She might have reraised with a suited Ace-King, leaving the Professor of Astrology Janitor’s Jacks a virtual coin-flip. But he knew her all-in move could mean only one thing: she held a pair of Aces, making her a 4:1 favorite. He began his plaintive mewling as he folded his Jacks. Chef left for the kitchen to make Egg Stuffed Breakfast Bell Peppers, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….


Dear Ms. Crissie,

The white establishment is now the minority. And the voters, many of them, feel that the economic system is stacked against them and they want stuff. You are going to see a tremendous Hispanic vote for President Obama. Overwhelming black vote for President Obama. And women will probably break President Obama’s way. People feel that they are entitled to things and which candidate, between the two, is going to give them things?

Bill in NY

Dear Bill,

We agree that the white establishment is now the electoral minority. Indeed that has been true for several elections, especially if by “white establishment” you mean white men, who are only 31% of the U.S. population. Despite that, in 2013 white men will still make up 78% of the U.S. Senate, 88% of the U.S. House, 67% of the U.S. Supreme Court, and 80% of state governors. So despite having reelected President Obama, the only one of our nation’s 44 presidents who was not a white male, it seems that “white establishment” still holds a tiny bit of sway. As for who wants “stuff,” we suggest you look to the 2011 Forbes 400 list – 91% of whom were white men – several of whom devoted much of the past four years to howling that their federal income taxes might rise by a whole 3%, or about tax deductions for their private jets.

Yes, the rest of Americans, including hardworking white men, want top earn a living wage for their labor, to feed and house their families, to know they or their family members can see a doctor if they get sick or injured, to send their children to college, and to know they can retire with dignity. You may dismiss that as wanting “stuff.” We call it “the American Dream” and, yes, we think that should be available to all of us … not just “the white establishment.”


Dear Ms. Crissie,

Republicans think so too. We have achieved, brilliant, highly accomplished African-Americans, blacks, Hispanics, you name it, throughout the Republican Party. They serve in office. Many of them are CEOs. It doesn’t count. It doesn’t count in the media. It doesn’t count in the Democrat Party. It doesn’t count with Obama voters about whom it is said that stuff matters most. It doesn’t count. Why not? Why, putting it somewhat coarsely, why doesn’t the Republican Party get credit for Condoleezza Rice? Why doesn’t the Republican Party get credit for Marco Rubio? Why doesn’t the Republican Party get credit for Suzanne Martinez?

Don’t tell me the Republican Party doesn’t have outreach. We do. But what are we supposed to do now? In order to get the Hispanic or Latino vote, does that mean open the borders and embrace the illegals? I want you to think about this. Is that what this means? Is that what the Republican establishment means? We’ve gotta reach out to Hispanics, is that what they mean? If we’re not getting the female vote, do we become pro-choice? Do we start passing out birth control pills? Is that what we have to do?

Women voted for Obama 55 percent to 43 percent. Massive gender gap. Unchanged from 2008. Unmarried women backed Obama 68 percent to 30 percent. They thought Romney would take away birth control pills. Obama treats them like vaginas, and they say, “He’s my man.” Go figure.

Rush in FL

Dear Rush,

We suggest you look up “tokenism” in a dictionary. Then Google the phrase “structural inequality.” Conservatism and the Republican Party platform have, for decades, been about preserving wealth, white, heterosexual, Christian, and male privilege … or what the Heritage Foundation call “originalism.”

What must Republicans do to reach out to women, African Americans, Asian Americans, Hispanic Americans, LGBTs, young voters, and other demographics who overwhelmingly chose President Obama and Democrats? We suggest time travel … to the 21st century.


Dear Ms. Crissie,

Bill and Rush can take their attitude and, well, stuff it. Speaking of, how do I make Chef’s Egg Stuffed Breakfast Bell Peppers?

Hungry and Stuff in Blogistan

Dear Hungry and Stuff,

First halve and seed a bell pepper, and lay each half open-side up on a baking pan. Next sauté ¼ cup each of diced tomatoes, diced onion, and chopped spinach with a sprinkle of salt, pepper, and garlic powder in extra virgin olive oil. Then beat 2 large eggs together with 1 Tablespoon of milk and a pinch of salt until blended, and stir in the sautéed vegetables along with 2 basil leaves cut into strips and ¼ cup of shredded mozzarella cheese. Spoon the egg-and-vegetable mixture into the pepper halves, then bake at 325° for 20-30 minutes, until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean. Sprinkle a bit more shredded mozzarella cheese over each pepper, and return to the oven until the cheese topping melts. Let stand for 5 minutes, and enjoy with your favorite breakfast beverage. Bon appétit!



Bill in NY; white men only 31% of population; 88% of U.S. House; 67% of U.S. Supreme Court; 80% of state governors; 91% of Forbes 400; howling about taxes; tax deductions for private jets.

Rush in FL; treats them like vaginas; tokenism; structural inequality; originalism.


Happy Sunday!