It’s no secret that I don’t like travel, especially air travel, especially in a pet carrier in the cargo hold. But at least I know why you can’t open the windows. (More)

To be fair, we squirrels aren’t all that big on opening windows. We usually don’t have windows in our homes. We appreciate it when you humans open the windows of your houses, if you don’t have screens and leave a bowl of nuts on the counter. But most of you do have screens and forget to leave out the nuts, which makes us wonder why you bother to open your windows at all. If it’s fresh air you want, come outside.

That was pretty much what the flight crew decided after an electrical fire left smoke in the cabin during Ann Romney’s flight from Omaha to Santa Monica. They landed in Denver and everyone went outside while fire crews inspected the aircraft to make sure everything was okay.

In fact my only complaint was that none of the passengers thought to bring some of those airline peanuts off the plane for the squirrels in Denver. It’s a minor complaint, as airline peanuts aren’t very good anyway and you spend as many calories opening that stupid package as you get from the three peanuts inside. But the thought would have been nice.

As would a thought by Mitt Romney, before he said this:

When you have a fire in an aircraft, there’s no place to go, exactly, there’s no — and you can’t find any oxygen from outside the aircraft to get in the aircraft, because the windows don’t open. I don’t know why they don’t do that. It’s a real problem.

Now admittedly, I’m not going to be invited to a $6 million fundraiser in Beverly Hills. But I know what would happen if you opened a window while an aircraft was in flight. The flight attendants even warn you about what to do if those masks fall out of the ceiling due to a loss in cabin pressure. They don’t have any squirrel-sized masks, by the way, or any masks at all in the cargo hold. I’m just sayin’.

But you don’t have to be an aircraft engineer or a physicist or a doctor or even the kind of person who gets invited to a $6 million fundraiser in Beverly Hills to know that. You just have to have listened to a pre-flight safety briefing at least once … and apparently Mitt Romney hasn’t.

This wouldn’t be a big deal if he were campaigning for some local office like county dog catcher. Although in that case, his driving to Canada with his dog on the roof of his car would be a big deal. Bad example.

It wouldn’t be a big deal if he were campaigning for some local office like county public health administrator. But then this would be a big deal:

Well, we do provide care for people who don’t have insurance. If someone has a heart attack, they don’t sit in their apartment and die. We pick them up in an ambulance, and take them to the hospital, and give them care. And different states have different ways of providing for that care.

As any county public health administrator would tell you, waiting for someone to get sick enough to need the emergency room is the most expensive possible way of providing health care to the uninsured. Oops. That’s another bad example.

It wouldn’t be a big deal if he were campaigning for some local office like county tax collector. Umm. Okay, I give up.

My point is, when Romney gets the facts wrong about union elections, or criticizes President Obama’s handling of the Arab Spring – after Romney managed to bungle a simple visit to the Olympics – you should remember that this is a guy who doesn’t know why airline passengers can’t open the windows.

He probably designed the packaging on those peanuts.

Good day and good nuts.