The BPI staff received our holiday bonus early: enrollment in the Catalog of the Month Club. We hope it was a clue…. (More)

First our thanks to last week’s writers:

On Monday, Winning Progressive brought our Weekend Reading in Furthermore!, addisnana discussed Firewood for the Rich in Midday Matinee, and winterbanyan asked After Fukishima, Ocean Radioactivity? in Our Earth.

On Tuesday, Winning Progressive gave Three Good Reasons to Recall Scott Walker in Morning Feature, the Squirrel fundamentally, profoundly, and deeply offered Fun-de-Mental Newt in Furthermore!, readers collaborated on Tuesday’s Tale: Beyond Reality in Midday Matinee, and winterbanyan asked Is Plan B Safe for Teens? in Evening Focus and shared Adaptation to Environmental Change in Our Earth.

On Wednesday, Winning Progressive brought us Quick Hits: An Apology to Obama, Record Fine in Mine Disaster, U.S. Promotes LGBT Rights in Morning Feature, the Squirrel ranted that House Passes Poison Pill Bill in Furthermore!, addisnana mused on Traffic Tickets in Midday Matinee, and winterbanyan discussed That Glow In Our Oceans in Our Earth.

On Thursday, we began a series on Better Gossip with That Sounds True, But…. in Morning Feature, and winterbanyan cautioned us about Getting Rid of Old Drugs and Thermometers in Furthermore! and reported on Earthquake Triggers in the Pacific in Our Earth.

On Friday, we continued our series on Better Gossip with That Could Happen, But…. in Morning Feature, and winterbanyan wrote about the gift of A Dollar in Midday Matinee and celebrated how the Recovery Act Weatherizes Homes in Our Earth.

On the weekend, we concluded our series on Better Gossip with Feelings and Facts in Saturday’s Morning Feature, Ms. Crissie was asked if it’s Hidden? in Sunday’s Morning Feature, Winning Progressive shared this week’s Weekend Reading in Furthermore!, poets, singers, and politicians collaborated to inspire Silly Sunday: Fiiiive Goooold Riiiings in Evening Focus, and winterbanyan brought our Eco News Roundup in Our Earth.

Note: Please share your stories of offline activism in Things We Did This Week.

That brings us to the holiday bonus offered by the resident faculty as they made their way from the wine cellar library where they spent the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”) to the hot tub faculty lounge for their weekly game where the underwear goes flying planning conference.

Their bonus was to enroll us in the Catalog Of The Month Club. Perhaps they thought the BPI mail room doesn’t get enough junk already, a possibility the Professor of Astrology said he would explore in depth as he began to draft an angry retort. Remembering the verbal carnage after The Cream Cheese Incident, Chef said we deliberate carefully before replying, and suggested we first research the considered wisdom of Clark Griswold.

Having watched that video clip, most of us hovered between laughter and righteous indignation. But the Squirrel noticed what he thought were some clues. First, our holiday bonus cost even less than Clark Griswold’s Jelly Of The Month Club, as few companies charge to deliver their catalogs. In fact, you must pay a nominal fee to get on the official no-junk-mail list and even that doesn’t guarantee an end to junk mail. Perhaps it was simply that BPI has a smaller budget than Griswold’s fictional chemical company.

Or perhaps the absurdity of putting the staff on more catalog mailing lists was a clue. Not even the resident faculty could be so dense as to think we wanted more junk mail. Although they’re busy in the wine cellar library on Sunday mornings, Professor Plum usually sneaks a look at the mail before your lowly mail room clerk, so we’re confident they discussed it among themselves. Like the Jelly Of The Month Club, our holiday bonus would be “the gift that keeps on giving all year long,” in much the same way as a recurring virus.

This led to a discussion of past gifts the staff have received, and given, from and to family, friends, bosses, colleagues, and at holiday parties. Some were thoughtful and heartwarming. Others less so, by intention or sometimes by design.

We hope that’s what the resident faculty will discuss later this week. If not, would anyone like an extra catalog or twelve?


Happy Monday!