I have apologies. Somehow, in the bustle of food prep and copious napping, I lost total sight of the fact that yesterday was Friday. Sure, you’re thinking I’ve “Gone Romney” in some convoluted effort to cover my now considerably-larger butt  because I surely knew Thanksgiving was Thursday but, I promise, this oversight is all President Obama’s fault. I can’t explain why at this moment but I’m sure I’ll be able to generate some tofu-induced lie that’ll make sense later on.

By now, I’m sure, everybody at BPI Campus is aware of Pepper Spray Pike‘s dastardly deed and Fox News’ Megyn Kelly’s “essentially a food product” defense. Well, Megyn, so are Castor Beans and Foxglove but, for reasons which apparently escape you, none is on our family’s holiday menu.

But let’s see what grows out of trivializing the effects of using chemical weapons on peaceful citizens, shall we?

Woman Pepper Sprays XBox360 Suitors In Early Morning Shopping Incident

A customer shot pepper spray at other customers at a busy Northridge Wal-Mart store late Thursday night, causing minor injuries to at least 10 people who had been waiting hours for Black Friday savings, according to Los Angeles firefighters and a police lieutenant. The Associated Press later reported 20 injuries.

Firefighters arrived to treat at least 10 people, said Los Angeles Fire Department spokesman Shawn Lenske. Injuries were minor, he said.

“It was an unhappy customer” who spritzed pepper spray at the Wal-Mart, 19821 Rinaldi Street, at 10:10 p.m., said Lt. Abel Parga at the Los Angeles Police Department’s Devonshire station. The suspect then left the store.

See, it’s all just fun and games, at least as presented by the purveyors of Teh Stoopid over at Rupert’s Brainchild, until someone gets hurt.

People may laugh at me for having it, but I grow more certain by the day that having a personal gas mask is the right decision!