The morning quiet was disrupted by a page from the resident faculty: “Will Power, please pick up the blue courtesy phone.” It had to be a clue. (More)
First our thanks to last week’s writers:
On Monday, winterbanyan warned of Preying on Veterans with VA Loans in Furthermore!, addisnana was Checking Out in Midday Matinee, and winterbanyan celebrated Makana Takes It to the Elite in Evening Focus before noting that Air Pollution Yields More Drought and Flooding in Our Earth.
On Tuesday, Winning Progressive shared Another Conservative Judge Upholds Affordable Care Act in Morning Feature, the Squirrel called for Occupying the Future in Furthermore!, we wrote Tuesday’s Tale together in Midday Matinee, addisnana warned that GOP Uses Border Security to Evade Environmental Rules in Evening Focus, and winterbanyan looked for The Culprits in Ice Age Mammal Extinctions in Our Earth.
On Wednesday, Winning Progressive was Taking a Stand on the Keystone XL Pipeline Extension in Morning Feature, the Squirrel ranted on Rumors and Blame in Furthermore!, addisnana asked WTF in Midday Matinee, and winterbanyan reported an Ancient Lakebed on the Eel River in Our Earth.
On Thursday, we began our series On BS with Not (Quite) Lying in Morning Feature, and winterbanyan noted What You Don’t Tell Your Boss in Midday Matinee and Earth Rapidly Losing Biodiversity in Our Earth.
On Friday, we continued our series On BS with Toilet Water in Morning Feature, MKSinSA saw the result When the Politically Challenged Come a’Challengin’ in Furthermore!, Asimo727 returned with our Labor News Roundup in Evening Focus, and winterbanyan shared The Secrets of Antarctica’s Gamburtsev Mountains in Our Earth.
On the weekend, we concluded our series On BS with Truth Matters in Saturday’s Morning Feature, the Squirrel stepped in to Facepaw in Sunday’s Morning Feature, Winning Progressive shared Weekend Reading in Furthermore!, we inaugurated Silly Sunday in Evening Focus, and winterbanyan brought our Eco News Roundup in Our Earth.
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That brings us to the resident faculty’s paging Will Power to the blue courtesy phone, before making their way from the
wine cellar library where they spent the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”) to the hot tub faculty lounge for their weekly game where the underwear goes flying planning conference. Maybe the resident faculty have already slid into Thanksgiving holiday weekend mode. This was too easy.
First, a quick review of the BPI directory reveals we have no faculty, staff, or students named Will Power. Second, all of our phones have been blue since the Squirrel got his Blewberry. Even Pootie the Precious’ iHazPhone is blue. Finally, at BPI we encourage courtesy at all times. Thus, any phone Will Power picked up would be a blue courtesy phone, and none of them is connected to the paging system. That was engineered by the
Professor of Astrology Janitor last Thanksgiving, when Chef left two empty soup cans (cream of mushroom, for the green bean casserole) and a ball of twine (to tie the turkey’s legs) out on the counter.
So the resident faculty’s page was both obviously a clue and a clue with an obvious meaning. While we have no faculty, staff, or students named Will Power, he’s been the topic of conversation often over the past few weeks. Mostly we’ve discussed his weaknesses, such as by agreeing when Loyola professor J.D. Trout compared him to a sheep: Will Power exists, but if you sheer off the wool you find he’s awfully scrawny.
Yet it might be better to think of Will Power as a talented ensemble actor who, unfortunately, too often gets cast in a one-man show. He’s good in the right role, but he can’t carry the show all alone. This week the resident faculty will discuss what Will does well, what his limits are, and how best to cast him in our progressive epic.
Once they put down that soup can.