As you may recall from my earlier article on stalking, I am some sort of human, 100 Tesla magnet for the crazed. Thus, I was completely unsurprised when, at last week’s Occupy San Antonio, a guy my age sidled up to me to survey and discuss the gathering crowd … and brought with him the entire menu of crazy.

Such was my chance encounter with a very friendly but certifiable head case at my Occupy adventure in San Antonio last weekend. My new friend couldn’t find the group he was supposed to meet up with for the march. He immediately asked if I’d heard of it: We Are Change. I replied, “No. Are they in any way related to Color of Change?” I should have known better and, as he shook his head, my knowing sense of dread drifted toward panic.

If you think there’s only one way to claim the federal government counterfeits US currency, you’re quite mistaken. My buddy had a dozen or so ways to make the point … and did so with machine gun speed. In these situations, I know I have but seconds to flash my “Where’d you park your spaceship” look before I’m busted, so I flashed it at neutrino speed then quietly suggested it would be impossible for the Fed to counterfeit a tender it has the monopoly to produce. I added that although it can do so without limit, it has been rather restrained and managed to keep inflation at a tolerable level. Since he looked to be about my age, I asked if he possibly remembered a time when that wasn’t the case. I could sense the screws loosening in his head as he mulled that one over before replying, “Back in the 70s and 80s.” He then no longer wished to pursue this topic.

Calm down folks: that’s not the end. That’s just the amuse-bouche. The main course was playing a round of Teh Jooz, oh, you know, the game in which Zionists control all the money in all the world. And apparently, also The Fed, the Banks, Wall Street and the U.S. government.

After a few hands of that nonsense, I threw out a few names – Pandit, Dimon, Mack, Murdoch, Paulson, Obama – and asked him how you get from a Hindu-Episcopalian-Greek-Orthodox-Kenyan-Socialist-Muslim gang to a Jewish-run cabal. Well, old boy didn’t much like that twist and decided it must be more international and started in on how Jews run the largest multinational banks. Now, I don’t fill my little floppy disk of a brain with a bunch of counter-conspiracy-theory drivel, so I gave my Libertarian loon some homework: check out the world’s largest banks and get back to me with how many are run by Zionists.

Now, before I get too far down this poorly marked and less-traveled path, I must confess that I went home and researched these folks. I was shocked to learn that some of what they profess could have been ripped from the DNC web site. I mean, who of us think GMO production, Wall Street and the military-industrial complex don’t bear watching? To get to that common ground, though, you’ve got to dive into some pretty dense layers of conspiracy piled atop conspiracy. But there’s good reason why conservatives smell the whiff of anti-Semitism and crack-pottery wafting through the Occupation air – the Libertarian/Paulite/”We Are Change” folks have joined the OWS cause and bring with them their deep and abiding fears of a Zionist under every bed working some sort of Jewish mind meld upon us as we sleep.

Anyway, back to my weekend and some bittersweet Occupy dessert. Shortly after our game of Teh Jooz ended, my new friend either suddenly spotted his march buddies or the hardware floating in his head was starting to hurt. Whatever it was, he’d had enough of me and scooted into the crowd. Gosh, I’m sure gonna miss our good times together!