Today in history, greetings, and social banter here. (More)

Mumtaz Mahal died in childbirth today (1631). Also, Jacques Marquette and Louis Jolliet began charting the Mississippi River (1673), the Statue of Liberty arrived in New York Harbor (1885), the Bonus Army marched on the U.S. Capitol (1932), and the U.S. Supreme Court struck down mandatory public school prayer and Bible reading in Abington School District v. Schemp (1963). And the Watergate burglars were caught in the act (1972).

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The Janitor Professor of Astrology notes that he did not study every political scandal since 1972 in researching this week’s Bippiescopes….

Gemini – Next week you’ll remember this week as Last Weekgate. Make it fun.

Cancer – This is a good weekend to reenact Putt Puttgate. Avoid the windmill.

Leo – Don’t worry, no one remembers Dust Bunnygate. Ahh-choo.

Virgo – There’s still time to cover up Sock Drawergate. Just rearrange them again.

Libra – We’ll all agree to keep Fish Hookgate a secret. Except for the band-aid.

Scorpio – Yes, Frisbeegate was overblown. That’s how it became Roofgate.

Sagittarius – No one will talk about Flip Flopgate. They’ll sing “Margaritaville.”

Capricorn – Actually most people don’t discuss Rakegate. They just giggle.

Aquarius – We forgot all about Spinachgate. Until Toothpastegate.

Pisces – The cat would have ignored Litter Boxgate. Except for Clumpgate.

Aries – Yes, it was really Downloadgate. But Updategate rhymes.

Taurus – Pennygate was trivial. Sofa Cushiongate was the big story.

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Good morning! ::hugggggs::