The baby and his guirrel friend are watching a movie on my laptop, which is also our big screen TV, so I’m stuck researching my 21st Century Political Nuttitude thesis on my Blewberry. That’s bad news and good news. The bad news is the National Cancer Institute says my Blewberry may be hazardous to my health.

The good news is that Rick Santorum is smaller on my Blewberry, and the Mayo Clinic says that may offset the health risk of my Blewberry. Well, they didn’t say it exactly that way. They said suppressed anger is bad for your health. Big pictures of Rick Santorum make me grumpier, and I can’t express my anger too assertively or I’d interrupt the movie for the baby and his guirrel friend.

I could ask the rhetorical question “Why does Rick Santorum make me grumpy?” but that’s like asking “Why does missing meals make me grumpy?” Duh. The better question is “What politically nutty thing did Rick Santorum say this time?”

He announced today that he’s running for president.

That’s actually not the politically nutty thing. Sure, his chances are right up there with a blizzard in Blogistan, but that could be said for most of this year’s GOP crop. If their candidates were grapes, they could go into the vinegar business.

No, the first politically nutty thing he said was this:

We’re going to be in this race and we’re in it to win.

Oh really. I suppose there are other reasons to enter a political race, such as living on campaign contributions or boosting the ratings on a network TV show. But as a general rule, people run for political office hoping to win.

As if that nuttitude weren’t enough, he added this gem:

What people are looking for is someone who has stood by their principles in good times and in bad.

Actually, no. What voters are looking for are candidates with ideas for how to make good times. If your principles create bad times – as Santorum’s social policies have for women, and his economic policies have for everyone – voters would rather you didn’t stand by those principles. Voters would rather you recognized those principles are archaic, ideological fantasies.

In short, voters would rather you were capable of learning. Even squirrels do that. Just look:

Santorum thinks voters want candidates who will keep falling off that drawbridge, or banging off the bottom of the baffle, “in good times and bad.” That’s not standing by principles. It’s just stupidity.

Fortunately, Santorum is small enough on my Blewberry that I don’t quite want to yell “You idiot!” I wouldn’t yell, because that would interrupt the movie, and then I’d suppress anger and well, that’s bad for my health. Then again, if I were researching on my laptop with the big screen, the baby and his guirrel friend wouldn’t be watching the movie, and I could yell all I wanted. I would have no suppressed anger and no microwaves.

I wonder if that movie is over….

Good day and good nuts.