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The ravens shall inherit the earth. I’m serious. I have come to loathe them. When my son called last night and asked what was new, I told him, “I’m going on-line and ordering armor like Joan of Arc. I’m ordering a slingshot and I’m declaring war on the ravens.” His reply, “That bad, huh?”

This is how bad it is:

This is the campground recycling center after a visit from the ravens. I cleaned it up in the morning and by 4 o’clock they’d been back. I tried to take a photo of the raven who flew off with a slice of pizza in its mouth but it was too blurry. Pizza! And what’s even funnier is they prefer pepperoni and pick off the pieces of sausage. Even though they are going through the garbage, they have standards. I do admire them for having standards. I wonder what they know about the sausage that I don’t know?

I was talking with Doug about the ravens and what to do. I was then contemplating just a slingshot and not the whole Joan of Arc bit. He told me that even if I got good enough with the slingshot, I was forgetting how smart the ravens are. They ‘talk’ with each other and if by some small miracle, I managed to hit one, they’d be talking to each other in the trees and they’d move to other garbage cans in the camp. He thinks they have scouts to tell them when there’s trouble brewing. See why I think they’ll inherit the earth?

I have watched them take a lid off of a garbage can. They get one side loose and then pop it off with their beaks. They must have really strong beaks. I stuck a tree branch through the handles on two lids on cans standing next to each other. I wonder how long it will take them to figure that out. I also wonder if they work in teams. This is only until my armor and slingshot arrive. I have this terrible suspicion that they are smarter than me. There is also the problem of the campers wondering why the garbage cans are rigged with branches. I have reassured them that we don’t “have a bear problem” but they give me funny looks when I tell them it is the ravens. All my garbage can solutions require camper compliance. I do think the ravens will beat me on team work.

Since this is a family friendly blog I have omitted any of the more descriptive adjectives I have for the ravens. You can just imagine Caddyshack and the ravens replacing the gophers and me dressed as Joan of Arc and you’ll have a good idea of what I mutter to myself. Okay, it has occurred to me that I am obsessed. Perhaps if I channel some of this into politics, I could make a real difference. That is, until the ravens inherit.

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