With Karl Rove telling Republicans to tack away from the Tea Party, can President Obama and the Democrats land enough jabs to make it game-set-match? (More)
Politics 8 Meta 4, Part I – The Favorites
This week Morning Feature hosts a cage match to crown The Best Sport For Political Metaphors. Today we meet the Favorites, sports whose metaphors we hear most often. Tomorrow the underdog Challengers will take the field. Saturday we’ll see who’s left standing at the finish line.
Baseball
A veteran of the political game, baseball boasts a .385 lifetime average. Over a third of its metaphors made points worth considering. That would be awful as a quarterback’s completion rate and worse as a foul shooting percentage, but in baseball you don’t expect success very often. That alone makes baseball a serious contender in the realm of political metaphors.
It also has a deep lineup. There’s the venerable Home Run, often the result of an opponent’s Hanging Curve, although the Base (not Stolen) usually want to swing at every Wild Pitch. Cheaters can Throw Dirt In The Umpire’s Eyes, though he still Calls Em As He Sees Em, and often that’s a Strikeout of the Swing And A Miss variety. There’s also the Sacrifice (Shared) or, as ordinary working folks call it, the Squeeze Play. It also offers the perfect substitute for arcane procedures; fans and even most players don’t understand the Infield Fly Rule. We won’t even mention Spit Takes.
But baseball’s biggest point of similarity is its pace of play. You can take a political news break – a trip to the concession stand to get Hot Dogs And Apple Pie for Motherhood – knowing that little will have changed when you get back. But hey … It’s A Long Season.
Football
Football’s metaphors do best in Critical Third Down Situations, usually said to be At The Goal Line. Regardless, fans know the correct play is to Quit Playing Prevent Defense and Throw The Long Ball. At least until election day – the Super Bowl – when everything hinges on the Ground Game. This is how we choose presidents, always Quarterbacks, whom we expect to score Touchdowns.
Sadly, football metaphors spend most of their time in a Huddle while we watch endless Instant Replays. Then they Punt, or Kick The Can Down The Road. No one knows how the ball became a can or the field became a road. Maybe by the same formula used to calculate Quarterback Ratings.
Basketball
Although a popular sport, basketball’s contribution to politics is usually limited to the Slam Dunk. Ironically, most of these Clang Off The Iron, although a few are Nothing But Net. Perhaps the sport will Rebound, but for now it’s a Jump Ball. Like a political debate, except that’s the realm of….
Boxing
After rehearsing with Sparring Partners, political candidates who have Thrown A Hat In The Ring usually Square Off for a verbal Donnybrook. Or at least that’s how they’re billed. We’re told to expect Haymakers and Uppercuts, though if a candidate attempts one it is usually decried as a Low Blow. There is rarely a Knockout Punch. Instead they Land A Few Jabs and try to Win On Points. More often it’s a Split Decision that could have been avoided if only they’d Take The Gloves Off. In the primaries this process continues until the losers Throw In The Towel. Maybe to cover the hat.
So those are the Favorites. Tomorrow we’ll look at the Challengers.
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Happy Thursday!
Which of the Favorites’ metaphors are consistent hits, and which are usually errors?
Good morning! ::hugggggs::
Great stuff, Crissie. I’m familiar with all of it. Not sure that’s a good thing.
To add to the repertoire — Pres Obama was bringing the heat yesterday.
Yes he was, Mike, and of course conservatives are now complaining those were Brush Back Pitches….
Good morning! ::hugggggs::
I am reminded of the great dialogue from A Field of Dreams:
Let’s not forget James Earl Jones’ amazing speech from that amazing film:
Maybe that’s why David Brooks has “Iowa fever.” Or maybe it’s just pollen….
Good morning! ::hugggggs::
I love that movie, Jan. I practically had to be pinned down to watch it the first time. Eeps, a baseball movie? Not my thing at all.
It was definitely a home run.
I can’t imagine anyone pinning you down to watch sports. 😉
Another good one is Eight Men Out about the Chicago Black Sox scandal.
I also love The Natural. Okay, maybe I don’t have to be pinned to the mat quite so much anymore. 😉 And I do confess a love of bike racing.
So basically, We the People need to play the role of domestiques to our GC-er, Obama.
And that, I suspect, is why bike racing will never become the all-purpose political analogizing winner: I have no clue what your last sentence means.
You will after tomorrow. 😉
Good morning! ::hugggggs::
You are assuming I will be able to read and comprehend. The part of my brain set aside for sports has reached the saturation point and there is no space for a new sport.
I made a personal vow not to participate in any ‘new’ to me sports that require another pair of footwear. If I can’t do it in generic tennis shoes or barefoot, it is not for me. I ride a bike but not with special biking shoes.
The idea of sports for fun is where I’m at now.
LOL, Jan. Listen, if I who loathe sports could pick up enough to come up with the statement above, you can relax. I shut down when it comes to sports, but picking up on the biking was relatively easy.
Domestiques are the riders in a race who spend all their time creating drag to keep the rider they want to win rested. They’re also the ones who drop back and pick up food and bring it forward. Most riders are domestiques at at least some points in a race, or times in their careers. They help win by doing the “heavy lifting.”
The GC-er is the guy they want to win overall.
To me this is much less complicated than baseball. Honestly. I can watch either sport and appreciate what’s going on, but I don’t know most baseball terminology from Greek. Literally.
Hugggs.
That is a pretty good list of favorites and I propose borrowing liberally from each one of them when I make my points.
The boxing analogies are too close to the language of violence that I try to avoid (it has a lot in common with the war analogies).
I am certain that Baseball will be the winner by several lengths. Wait. I think that is another analogy … probably for tomorrow.
Baseball metaphors seem to be the most plentiful, and that .385 lifetime average doesn’t include metaphors that reached on errors and walks, or those that sacrificed to advance a teammate.
Wait, I’m getting signals from Pootie the Precious behind third base …
…
… Oops. I guess not. She was just cleaning herself.
Good morning! ::hugggggs::
For the Republicans, swimming may be worth consideration. Often a race is lost on the turns, aka flip turns. Too early or too late on the turns and the push off the wall is weakened. I am expecting lots of flip turns on the Ryan GOTP nightmare for America.
Swimming will be among tomorrow’s challengers, addisnana, although we told the resident faculty to avoid any puns linking Wisconsin State Senator Randy Hopper with well-known swimming events. They were very disappointed…. 😉
Good morning! ::hugggggs::
I like the headline
Heh. I like that one, addisnana. It sure fits.
Considering the Tea Party began with Rick Santelli’s rant against proposals to help homeowners avoid foreclosure … that is sadly apropos….
Good morning! ::hugggggs::
I don’t know enough about sports to bring any metaphors to bear on this. But I recognize most of them when I hear them, and this MF was a tour de force of sports metaphors.
Or should I say it was a touchdown?
Hugggs!
Tour de farce fits well. 🙂
Good morning! ::hugggggs::