“Dressing for success requires a focus,” Professor Plum said. “I’m focused on shoes.”

“But dear,” Ms. Scarlet replied, “you’re wearing flip flops.” (More)

Professor Plum said his flip flops have green and red feathers, just like his official Parrothead Club hat. Alas, his footwear and hat do match. We shall not distress readers’ appetites with further description, noting only that Ms. Scarlet chose to wear dark sunglasses. At night. The Professor of Astrology Janitor was not wearing sunglasses, and apparently suffered either temporary blindness or temporary amnesia. He raised on an all-Diamonds flop, and kept betting all the way to the river. Chef turned over her King and Queen of Diamonds, and the Professor of Astrology Janitor showed his Ace and Jack … of Hearts. His plaintive mewling began, and Chef scurried to the kitchen to make Brown Bag Zucchini and Bacon Fritatas. That left your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

I am convening a House committee to initiate action to defend the Defense of Marriage Act. It is regrettable that the Obama administration has opened this divisive issue at a time when Americans want their leaders to focus on jobs. The House will ensure this matter is addressed in a manner consistent with our Constitution.

John in OH

Dear John,

We agree that our leaders should focus on jobs. However, we suggest the American people would like that focus to be on creating more jobs, rather than eliminating jobs by slashing the federal budget. When confronted with evidence that your proposed budget would put another 700,000 Americans out of work, your response was “So be it.” A cynic might wonder if you hope to drive up unemployment through November 2012 for political gain. We simply wonder … if you chose to focus on toxic waste, would your plan be to ensure that every household in America has leaking barrels stored in the kitchen?

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

Now that’s unfair. My campaign promised to focus on jobs in Wisconsin, and I’ve done that. Before taking office I demanded we cancel a federal high-speed rail project, and just this week I sent layoff notices to state employees. But it’s the Democrats’ fault. If the Senate Democrats come back to Wisconsin, these notices may be able to be rescinded and the layoffs avoided. So I’m focused on jobs.

Scott in WI

Dear Scott,

We agree that, like John in OH, you are focused on jobs. In fact, your focus on jobs seems exactly like John’s: eliminate as many jobs as necessary in pursuit of partisan political goals. Your actions as Milwaukee County Executive suggest your proposal to eliminate collective bargaining rights for public employees is step one in a plan to replace public employees with private contractors. We think this is why your statement said the layoff notices “may be able to be rescinded” if Wisconsin Senate Democrats return and allow your bill to pass. Given the growing trend in Wisconsin polls, you should indeed focus on jobs: which jobs to apply for after your recall.

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

We Republicans are focused on jobs, but we also care about human rights. That’s why I’ll push hard to shut down the federal government unless the budget strips funding for Planned Parenthood. If we don’t, we facilitate the demise of hundreds of thousands of children.

Chris in NJ

Dear Chris,

Clearly we misunderstood John in OH’s complaint about opening divisive issues. It was more like a trademark infringement claim: only your party should be able to open divisive issues to distract voters’ attention from whether they have jobs, homes, health care, education for their children, and a secure retirement.

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

I’d like to focus on breakfast. How do I make those Zucchini and Bacon Fritatas, and why did Chef put Brown Bag in the name of the recipe?

Focused on Tummy in Blogistan

Dear Focused on Tummy,

Chef calls them Brown Bag Zucchini and Bacon Fritatas because, if you’re too hurried to eat breakfast before leaving home, you can make this the night before and take a slice to work (or a workers’ rally!) with you. First thinly slice a zucchini, sprinkle with a dash of salt, drain and pat dry. Next fry 1½ pounds of thinly-sliced red potatoes and one thinly-sliced sweet onion in an oiled skillet over medium heat until the potatoes soften (about 20 minutes), and then over medium-high heat until the potatoes brown (about 5 minutes).

Remove the potatoes and onions with a slotted spoon, and sauté the zucchini along with 4 slices of chopped bacon in the skillet until the zucchini is tender (about 4 minutes). Remove the zucchini and bacon with a slotted spoon, then beat 6 eggs in a bowl and add the cooked vegetables, bacon, and 1 cup grated cheddar cheese. Pour into the skillet and cook until the bottom is set (about 10 minutes). Then move the skillet into a 350° oven and bake until the top is set (5-15 minutes, check every 5 minutes).

Take the skillet from the oven and cover with a serving plate. Then carefully invert and let the fritata fall onto the plate. Cut into wedges and serve, or chill and take to work (or a workers’ rally!) in the proverbial brown bag. Bon appétit!

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Sources:

John in OH; “So be it.”

Scott in WI; as Milwaukee County Executive.

Chris in NJ.

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Happy Sunday!