“Ta da!” Professor Plum announced.

Chef gaped. The Squirrel covered Pootie the Precious’ eyes.

“A union suit?” Ms. Scarlet asked. (More)

Professor Plum explained that he wanted to show solidarity with union workers in Wisconsin. The Squirrel texted: “He’s showing something, but I’ve never heard it called ‘solidarity.'” Much to our relief, Ms. Scarlet took his hand and led him to join the rest of the resident faculty in the wine cellar library an undisclosed location. The Professor of Astrology Janitor shrugged and said he often wore a union suit under his coveralls. He offered to show us. Pootie the Precious replied with a plaintive mewl. Chef was halfway to the kitchen before she realized the sound hadn’t come from the Professor of Astrology Janitor. She shrugged and went to finish her Spinach and Cheese Breakfast Squares, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….


Dear Ms. Crissie,

We’re not gonna allow for one minute the protesters to feel like they can drown out the voices of those millions of taxpayers all across the state of Wisconsin. What we’re asking for today and what we continue to be pushing for in this Capitol, is bold when it comes to politics — it’s a bold political move. But any time you challenge the status quo, it’s gonna be bold. But it is a very modest request of our government workers all across this state.

Scott in WI

Dear Scott,

We applaud your Swiftian turn of phrase. Your “modest request” is indeed “A Modest Proposal.” You created this budget ‘crisis’ and now you are feeding Wisconsin’s workers into the insatiable maw of tax breaks for the wealthy. As the government employee unions already agreed to wage and benefit cuts, this is not about saving the taxpayers’ money. We suggest you pay less attention to your Tea Party business backers and more attention to the two-thirds of Wisconsin voters who disagree with your “modest request.”


Dear Ms. Crissie,

My union brothers and sisters have picked the wrong fight at the wrong time. They are abandoning children in protest against the sort of belt-tightening that people everywhere are going through. They must sacrifice and carry our share of the burden.

Sarah in AK

Dear Governor Airspace,

We are not surprised that you ask union workers to carry your share of the burden. Should they also buy your bendable straws?


Dear Ms. Crissie,

I commend Governor Walker for having the fortitude to stand up against the fiscal irresponsibility that is plaguing our country. He is showing tremendous courage to put an end to spending that his state and many like his can simply no longer afford. Americans are looking for this kind of commitment to fiscal responsibility in Washington and in state houses across the country.

Rick in PA

Dear Rick,

We offer a paraphrase from The Princess Bride: “You keep using that phrase ‘fiscal responsibility.’ We do not think it means what you think it means.” Governor Walker created this budget crisis in January, turning a projected state budget surplus into a deficit. By your definition, the arsonist who makes employees pay to rebuild after he burns down his shop is showing “fiscal responsibility.” The rest of us call that “fraud.”


Dear Ms. Crissie,

Government is broke and workers will have to pay. In the last two years, under President Obama, the federal government has added 200,000 new jobs. If some of those jobs are lost, so be it.

John in OH

Dear John,

We must concede your honesty in displaying your contempt for American workers. However, that is about the only honest statement you made. Since 2009, the federal civilian workforce has grown by only one-tenth the number you claim: 20,000. Relative to our population, the federal civilian workforce is at its lowest level since 1962. Like Governor Walker, President Bush turned a budget surplus into a deficit. In fact, President Bush doubled the federal debt. Now, like the arsonist, you want others to pay the price. Your budget could lose 1 million jobs. The next time your party runs on a platform of “more jobs,” we hope voters hear the word you leave off the end: “more jobs … lost.”


Dear Ms. Crissie,

I’m not wearing a union suit, but I stand in solidarity with union workers. Can I take Chef’s Spinach and Cheese Breakfast Squares to a workers’ rally?

Solidly Hungry in Blogistan

Dear Solidly Hungry,

We trust that “not wearing a union suit” implies you are wearing something else. If not, we suggest you consider dressing before attending that workers’ rally. Chef says you certainly can take her Spinach and Cheese Breakfast Squares to a rally. To make them, melt 4 tablespoons of butter in a 9×13 baking pan, and thaw and drain 20 ounces of frozen spinach. Then beat 3 eggs with 1 cup of flour in a large mixing bowl and add ½ teaspoon of salt and 1 teaspoon of baking powder. Next stir in 1 cup of milk, 16 ounces of grated cheddar cheese, and the spinach. Finally, spread the mixture evenly in the baking dish and bake at 350° for 25 minutes, or until golden on top and set in the center. Cool and cut into squares. Bon appétit!


Scott in WI; A Modest Proposal; created budget crisis; unions accepted wage and benefit cuts; two-thirds of Wisconsin voters disagree with proposal.

Sarah in AK; bendable straws.

Rick in PA.

John in OH; federal civil workforce lowest level since 1962; Bush doubled federal debt; House budget could lose 1 million jobs.


Happy Sunday!