Professor Plum wanted to tell us the resident faculty’s plans for the week. He said leaving obscure clues was silly, and urged the resident faculty and staff to work together to share plans. But not all of the faculty agreed and the minority wouldn’t budge.

So he told us after all…. (More)

Usually we begin with thanks to last week’s Morning Feature guest lecturers, but with the holidays there were none. Last Tuesday, we reprised the BPI Squirrel’s debut in A Solstice Carol. Our three-day series moved forward a day, from Wednesday to Friday, with a discussion of change as seen from the U.S. and Europe. So Non-Cynical Saturday featured recently made up discovered Blogs from Bethlehem.

This Tuesday, Professor of Topofclassclownistics JanF will Dig Deeper into creating consumers. As always, Chef will be around to distribute coffee and bagels, and the Professor of Astrology Janitor will be aligned with his cleaners and buffer.

Note: At present, we have no Morning Feature guest lecture scheduled for Wednesday (December 29th). We also have openings for our campus soapbox, Furthermore!, our afternoon people-watching series Midday Matinee, and our evening environmental series Our Earth.

We’ll also be adding a new category in January: Evening Focus. Like Morning Feature – but more convenient for evening and West Blogistan readers – Evening Focus will allow Authors to explore topics over two or more days. Authors wishing to contribute to Evening Focus should contact NCrissieB. We will work out a posting time and other details by group emails.

If you are already a BPI Author, you will find a complete list of category openings in the Authors Notepad in your Dorm Room. To reserve a slot, type in your user name, topic, and date, and click “Save Notes.” I will remove your note when I add you to our Schedule.

If you are not yet a BPI Author and would like to contribute at BPI, please contact the BPI Webmistress.

Also: Please share your stories of offline activism, including holiday volunteering and/or family Fred Whispering, in Things We Did This Week.

That leaves only the resident faculty’s debate over whether to announce their intentions as they move from the wine cellar library where they spend weekends drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”) to the hot tub faculty lounge for their weekly game where the underwear goes flying planning conference.

While Professor Plum and most of the resident faculty wanted to come right out and say what they had in mind, a handful disagreed. Discussion continued under ยง325.26(L)(m)(N)(o)(P) of the BPI Resident Faculty Rules – commonly known as the Elemenopee Rule – which requires “a question call seconded by three-fifths of faculty members in the hot tub present and still wearing underwear voting” to end debate and vote. But enough faculty members had already flung their underwear abstained that they could not come to a final vote: “failure of climax cloture” in resident faculty terminology. Not even Ms. Scarlet’s most passionate appeals could move the minority.

“We need to change the Elemenopee Rule,” Professor Plum said later. “This flaccid process cannot continue. Theodore Roosevelt would be appalled”

“Absolutely,” Ms. Scarlet agreed. “That was my favorite teddy.”

So this week the resident faculty will discuss proposals to change the Elemenopee Rule. Or, if Ms. Scarlet replaces that teddy, the resident faculty will instead discuss proposals to change the Filibuster Rule.

In the spirit of bipartisanship, the staff gave Ms. Scarlet a link to Victoria’s Secret.

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Happy Monday!