Marie Antoinette was convicted of treason today (1793). Also, the Edison Electric Light Company opened (1878), Alfred Dreyfus was arrested for spying (1894), and New York Municipal Airport (now LaGuardia) was dedicated (1934). And Fortran, the first modern computer language, was released (1956).

Greetings and social banter here.

Kossascopes below. Good morning! ::hugggggs::

The Janitor Professor of Astrology does not warrant Kossascopes v2.42 for any use beyond entertainment. Not responsible for damage caused by running these routines on RealLife v1.0. Do you accept this End User License Agreement (Yes/No)?

Libra: FOR (day=Friday) TO (day=Sunday): RespondNiceWeekendQuery (“It’s Okay”)

Scorpio: IF party=”TGOP” THEN (IF hellFrozen=True THEN VoteFor ELSE VoteAgainst)

Sagittarius: WHILE coffee=”Brewing” SET voiceMode=”Off”

Capricorn: ERROR weekendOutlook $UNDEFINED

Aquarius: ERROR TYPE MISMATCH (self, annoyingTVHost)

Pisces: IF coffeeAvailable=False THEN SET panicMode=”On”

Aries: IF (thought=”Ooooh” AND christineODonnell=False) THEN Touch(Self)

Taurus: FOR (1, humorIndex) REPEAT Voice(“Ha”)

Gemini: WITH(oneFoot, theOther) DO KeepPutting(inFront)

Cancer: IF (lifeState!=reallyBad) THEN SET whineMode=”Off”

Leo: WHILE (catLocation=Lap) SET (readMode=”Off” AND petMode=”On”)

Virgo: SORT (kitchenUtensils, kitchenDrawers) BY (size, function)