Yet again, a crack in our schedule allows us to reveal more of our Bippies, the fulsome and coveted BPI Awards. Today we plunge beneath the waist land that is prime time television to honor TV shows that were not made in 2010. Who tucked in above the cutoffs? (More)
More Exposed Bippies – TV Series
After extensive research at a remote location – between the sofa cushions – the resident faculty and staff of Blogistan Polytechnic Institute felt ready to unveil our next round of Bippies, the luscious and desirable BPI Awards. We worked out the nominees for TV shows that were not made, firm yet supple in the aspects that shaped our decisions. The voting had a few small jiggles that did not shake our bottom conclusions.
We were once again denied use of the opulent Kodiak Theater, this time because the humane society and parking department said that venue could not bear the traffic. So we again reveal our Bippies online. As always, the votes were cast by secret ballot and tabulated without touching the red button in BPI’s state-of-the-art High Energy Meta Mojo Elucidation Detector (HEMMED) Lab, and the results kept safe at the bottom of Pootie the Precious’ litter box. We apologize for the smell.
So without further adieu, the 2010 BPI Awards for TV shows that were not made:
WereHouse 113 (SciFy)
In this imaginative series, a team of agents track down House members who become shape-changing lycanthropes when the moon is in orbit. Using magical artifacts like Google, the agents identify members who give outraged speeches and vote against bills in Congress, then take credit for the same bills’ successes back home.
American Idolater (Fox)
A panel of judges including Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin evaluate contestants who claim religious miracles to prove God wants to destroy their political enemies. This season’s finalists include healing the sick who can afford medical care, and turning five loaves and two fishes into proof that President Obama was born in Kenya.
In the series finale with courts and Congress moving to overturn DADT, investigators race to prove that Lieutenant Eileen Knot, who turned down repeated advances from fighter pilot squadron commander Buff Manley, must be a lesbian. Will her text to a college friend – “OMG, what a jerk!” – be the evidence they need?
Echo Force (CBS)
This spin-off from The Unit moves beyond Delta Force to an elite cadre of former military officers who team up with cable news producers to spread the Pentagon’s view of world events. Can they convince Americans that our military can stabilize Afghanistan and preserve bases for a strike against Iran? The DOD budget hangs in the balance.
The Whether Channel
Combining state of the art graphics, Dupler Radar polls and lively studio pundits, the Whether Channel brings you up-to-the-minute predictions of Democratic losses based on premises like “whether President Obama cleans up the Gulf this week,” or “whether Democrats recognize Americans don’t want to tax the rich.”
A worthy collection of nominees indeed. And the winner is …
… NKIS, because the federal courts decided it’s the series finale. And it’s long since time that series ended.
How would you have voted?
And more important, what was Pootie the Precious up to this morning? We expected her to switch the result for R U Smarter Than Ur Pootie?, a family show where hoomans must guess if “Meow” means “Doze r da wrong noms!”, “Throw da spongie ball!”, or “Get off dat puter so I can sleep in ur lap!” Maybe she liked this morning’s noms….