It is the tradition in many professions for those who do not celebrate Christmas to volunteer to work the shift of those who want to be able to spend the holidays with their families:

People often volunteer to work on Christmas, especially if they work in 24/7 community service jobs like hospitals, newspapers, or police departments. This allows their Christian co-workers to get the day off.

So, in the best 24/7 blogging tradition, I am taking over filling in for NCrissieB so that she can “spend time with her family”. (Not like politicians do, by the way)

In that spirit, welcome: orphans (actual and by choice), otherly-believing people, Christmas burnouts and heathens.

And now that I have the keys to the Blogistan Polytechnic Institute delivery van (whoa, what does THAT button do???)…

Vroom…vroom…vroom…

The winter holidays have been celebrated for as long as there has been winter. Early humans needed a break in the routine of getting up, cleaning up the cave, killing a tyrannosaurus rex for breakfast, sitting around the fire, drawing pictures on the wall and waiting for Spring Training to start.

So we invented Winter Festivals and the Holiday Seasonas a way to celebrate and get drunk on test the grape juice.

What do you celebrate, who do you celebrate it with and how?

Don’t hold back…from the Front Page yesterday, this quote from a column in the the Boston Globe should get you started:

Sacrilege? I beg your tinsel-tangled pardon. As far as celebrating the birth of Christ is concerned, the sacrilege boat sailed a long time ago – long before “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer’’ retired the label.Look at it this way: whatever its one-time significance, Christmas is largely a secular celebration reliant on packaged traditions – talking cards, inflatable lawn snowmen, special-edition M&Ms – contrived to stimulate the marketplace. But why buy when you can do it yourself? Who wants to celebrate someone else’s holiday? Do it your way and steal Christmas back from the holiday hucksters.

… So trim your tree with travesty; deck your halls with disrespect; croon your own carol. Embrace the season without fear of breaking any molds. Celebrate December 25 as if you owned it. Christmas is for everybody, but it doesn’t have to be the same for everybody.

(or talk about the weather)

Only one rule: be polite to each other. It really is important.

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Kossascopes (with sincere apologies to The Professor of Astrology Janitor)

Capricorn – You have absolutely nothing in common with Aries. But the sex is promising.

Aquarius – You can do everything you want together with Aries. The sooner you get a room, the better off all of us will be.

Pisces – Aries may need a little more attention than you can give. Watch out for things happening quickly.

Aries – Everything you do is perfect. Really.

Taurus – You may be a little too prudent for Aries. But slow can have some advantages.

Gemini – Your life with Aries will be thrilling. And the sex will be hot.

Cancer – Aries’ adventurous spirit is scary to you. Wait until you are married for sex.

Leo – You will discover new things together with Aries. About those new things…

Virgo – You might have to change Aries a bit to suit yourself. But the sex can be volcanic.

Libra – With Aries it is all or nothing. Give each other space (?)

Scorpio – Your relationship with Aries will be full of action. You can expect to have amazing sex.

Sagittarius – A perfect match with Aries. Sex could be explosive.

With help from Zodiac Compatibility and more.

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By the way, one sentiment that should always be celebrated – Peace on Earth

Update: just to keep “Peace” on Morning Feature, here are some corrections: h/t simone daud

שלום אויף ערד

שלום עלי אדמות

سلام على الدنيا

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A special Thank You to theKgirls for the Morning Feature holiday logo. Hope you got out of Chicago O’Hare!