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Faculty & Staff

Resident Faculty:

The resident faculty of Blogistan Polytechnic Institute are too nameless to list, aside from the multiply-jowled Professor Plum who finds our mail before we do even when he’s in the Ballroom with Ms. Scarlet and that candlestick, and the Janitor Professor of Astrology whose faculty duties have been limited since the Cream Cheese Incident.

Satellite Faculty:

Blogistan Polytechnic Institute has a distinguished satellite faculty, although rumors that they flash their moons in the hot tub faculty lounge during the weekly game where the underwear goes flying planning conference are greatly exaggerated. As are their faculty titles:

  • addisnana, Professor of Bathtublueberrywhisperology
  • glendaw271, Professor of Iowacourdermatolistics
  • HurrikanEagle, Professor of Kensubhistorootistics
  • JimW, Professor of Relidissimerchadvenplanobjectology
  • Lake Toba, Professor of Geoaychtuology
  • LI Mike, Professor of Hamptolocopolism
  • Smartypants, Professor of Potusmartipantisilism
  • Winning Progressive, Professor of Questimittiweekerology
  • winterbanyan, Professor of Ecoinsaninsuroscamology

Staff:

The staff at Blogistan Polytechnic Institute includes both the bass and treble clefs, depending on who has bragging rights after the staff poker game.

  • MsCrissie, Your Lowly Mail Room Clerk, writes “Ask Ms. Crissie” for the Sunday Morning Feature, when she’s not thinking up new places to hide the mail from Professor Plum.
  • Chef, our Chef, contributes breakfast recipes for the Sunday Morning Feature, after she’s cleaned out the Professor of Astrology Janitor in the staff poker game.
  • Professor of Astrology Janitor, our Janitor Professor of Astrology, contributes the Bippiescopes to the Friday Campus Chatter. Their accuracy is certified by Buffers, Inc.
  • The BPI Squirrel, our roving reporter, breaks news events from around the country. But most of those events were already broken when he got there.
  • Pootie the Precious, our mascot extraor xtrord very cute, chats with the BPI Squirrel unless she gets distracted by