Talking Points Memo is always one of my first research stops when I look for Political Nuttitude, and today they had plenty. (More)

I hate lazy listicles like “9 Songs I Favorited on YouTube” or “11 First Dates I Hated” or “7 Kindz of Noms Dat If U Buy Again Ai Leevez Hairballz in Ur Bed.”

Okay, that last one is important. But mostly that kind of listicle is the internet equivalent of “I don’t have anything to say but I’ll keep talking anyway.” Like most questions in Congressional hearings, and most sermons. But I digress.

My point is, I’m supposed to write today so the resident faculty can do whatever they do on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, except I don’t really have anything to write about so here’s what I found at TPM….

5 Reasons to Visit TPM Today

1. Tapes from the Thrilla in Wasilla

Yeah, I know the Thrilla wasn’t in Wasilla, but ‘the Wankerage in Anchorage’ – while perhaps more accurate – clanks like a rusty, dented can of peas. Oh, and don’t eat the peas from that can. Canned peas taste awful anyway, but if the can is rusted and dented … I digress again.

Anyway, TPM has audio clips from the police interviews. My favorite – I use that term as loosely as the Palin clan use their brains – is Track Palin on who ‘attacked’ him:

“They’re all like little bitches,” Track said.

“You gotta help me out, man,” the officer said. “White, black, Native?”

“They’re all white,” Track responded before describing their body types. “If it was one-on-one, like I would beat the s–t outta them. You know what I’m saying? Sorry.”

“No, I understand,” the cop reassured him.

And that scene could have happened on the White House lawn….

2. The School-to-Prison Pipeline

Josh Marshall shares a reader letter about the criminalization of school:

Josh, interesting post on the criminalization of innocuous behavior in schools, but I think you missed an important thread. Like the drug war and the militarization of policing, I think this phenomena is largely an expression of our nation’s white supremacist origins and continuing mass anxieties and hysterias about race.[…]

It’s an excellent letter and a stark contrast with the police response to Some People. You know, people who can crash a party and start a fight with the host and not get arrested and the cops are calm and reassuring because freedom….

3. Paranoia for Profit

You kinda expect gun companies to trade on fear, but Brownwells Firearms took it up a notch with their Pandemic Survival Kit:

The kits don’t cater to an Ebola outbreak, but include filter masks, gloves, medical supplies and cooking equipment. For somewhere between $55 and $110, Brownells supplies the “basic needs” for people to protect themselves from bacteria and viruses.

Y’know what else is good for protecting yourself from bacteria and viruses? Washing your hands. Getting a flu shot. Oh, and washing your hands.

4. Take Yer Free Press Over There

Larimer County Clerk Angela Myers (R) tried to have yesterday’s edition of the Rocky Mountain Collegian, Colorado State University’s student newspaper, removed from the student center:

The paper featured a front-page story about Sen. Mark Udall (D-CO), who is locked in one of the closest Senate races in the country – and therefore Myers said that they violated electioneering laws, according to the Rocky Mountain Collegian’s own report on the controversy.

Myers cited a state law that said “no electioneering may take place within a 100-foot limit of any polling location.”

“When you have a paper that has a candidate on the very front like it does, we will need that to be displayed outside the 100-foot limit,” she said.

Myers also warned the paper not to cover tomorrow’s visit by First Lady Michelle Obama. Yeah, First Amendment much?

After receiving a cease and desist letter from Steven Zansberg, an attorney at Levine Sullivan Koch and Schultz, LLP, Rocky Mountain Student Media’s legal representation, Larimer County Clerk Angela Myers reversed her decision Tuesday afternoon and said the Collegian will be allowed to display newspapers in the racks at the entrance to the LSC.

Zansberg’s letter acknowledged that Myers threatened to confiscate copies of the October 21, 2014 edition from the Lory Student Center and requested that Myers refrain from instituting an “unconstitutionally overbroad reading of the applicable statute.”

5. “The Paralysis Disease”

And Rep. Steve King (R-IA) is back with more paranoia:

That’s ISIS seeking to come into the United States threatening us, and we saw the beheadings in Oklahoma, we’ve seen the paralysis disease D68 that seems to be in most if not all of our states – happens to be the same places that the unaccompanied alien juveniles have been sent to … and on top of that, the biggest threat of all is Ebola.

Actually there’s no evidence that ISIS has tried to enter the U.S., and no evidence they’ve tried to use Ebola, and no evidence linking the murder in Oklahoma to any group, and no evidence connecting immigrants with the Enterovirus D-68, which is actually fairly common, and it’s usually not serious but it can be for infants or people with weakened immune systems, so wash your hands.

And speaking of, I need a bath after all of this.

Okay, we don’t have a giraffe at the BPI Campus, but I hadn’t included a cute animal photo yet and you need one to make a listicle go viral. So move your cursor on down to those share buttons and make this the common cold of listicles….

Good day and good nuts

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Photo Credits: Palin Brawl Drawing by Jeanne Devon; Ocala Post; Des Moines Register; Keep Talking Wingnuts; Narcoleptic Squirrel.