The resident faculty left a press release outside the mail room: “Fizzisists use sonar to locate last ‘first’ video game.” The staff just used Google. (More)
First our thanks to last week’s writers:
On Monday, you shared your stories of offline political activism in Things We Did This Week and addisnana asked about Crisis Management? in Midday Matinee.
On Tuesday, Winning Progressive discussed President Obama’s Inaugural Address and the Meaning of Progressivism in Morning Feature, the Squirrel pondered what the world will Little Note Nor Long Remember in Furthermore!, you helped tell Tuesday’s Tale: The Meeting Society Meeting in Midday Matinee, and winterbanyan reported on Global Diversity and Invasive Species in Our Earth.
On Wednesday, Winning Progressive argued that Nuclear Power Is Not the Solution on Climate Change in Morning Feature, the Squirrel expressed his distaste for Mixed Nuts in Furthermore!, and addisnana wondered about Preparing? in Midday Matinee.
On the weekend, we concluded our series on We the People with Why Are “We?” in Saturday’s Morning Feature, Ms. Crissie was asked about The Stupid Party? in Sunday’s Morning Feature, Winning Progressive offered Weekend Reading in Furthermore!, we chuckled at Silly Sunday: Reality, Break in Evening Focus, and winterbanyan brought our weekly Eco News Roundup in Our Earth.
Note: Please share your stories of offline political activism in Things We Did This Week.
That leaves the press release left outside the mail room by the resident faculty as they made their way from the
wine cellar library where they spent the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”) to the hot tub faculty lounge for their weekly game where the underwear goes flying planning conference. The press release read:
Fizzisists use sonar to locate last ‘first’ video game.
The staff were dubious about this release, for several reasons. First, the Fizzix Department haven’t issued a press release since next June, when their time travel machine failed. Second, the Fizzix Department has no sonar equipment … or so we thought.
Awhile back, the faculty senate voted to buy a fish finder, after a six-hour debate over whether to take a bathroom break, claiming it was in response to this alert from Pootie the Precious:
Chef noted that she didn’t need a fish finder because the grocery aisles have signs. The faculty senate next argued that the
Professor of Astrology Janitor might need it, but he noted that sonar doesn’t work in the vacuum of space so a fish finder would not help him research the Bippiescopes. Even Pootie the Precious objected, texting:
PootieP@BPI Dat masheen costz moar dan da kans.
The staff thought that ended the matter, but we noticed the Squirrel had remained suspiciously silent throughout this discussion. Chef gave him That Look, and he tapped on his Blewberry:
Squirrel@BPI This isn’t me. You can see it’s not me.
Umm-hmm. Chef gave him That Look again, and again he went to his Blewberry:
Squirrel@BPI It’s my neighbor, Phinnyus Phlytail. But he wasn’t having any luck, so I put the request in to the faculty senate.
Apparently the resident faculty did have access to sonar equipment. And of course that cleared everything up. Obviously, they pinged the Internet, discovered the last ‘first’ video game …
… and they intend to spend the week ping-ponging around the news.
Unless they’re gone fishin’.