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Midday Matinee – Tuesday’s Tale: I Resolve….

January 1, 2013

Midday Matinee

Midday Matinee – Tuesday’s Tale: I Resolve….

“So here are my 2012 New Year’s Resolutions,” Walter said.

“Don’t you mean 2013?” Victoria asked.

“I complete more of them if I write them retroactively,” Walter replied. (More)

Midday Matinee is our people watching, people doing and people being feature. Join the Woodland Creatures for an afternoon break.

Welcome back to Tuesday’s Tale, a weekly feature where we collaborate to write a story. Previous Tuesday’s Tales include Doompocageddon! and Some Assembly Required. We follow the basic rules of the “Yes, And” improvisational game – accept everything written so far as part of the story, and add your own paragraph (or so) where the last addition left off – except you needn’t begin your addition with “Yes, and.” I’ll start the story….

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“In that case,” Victoria said, “I resolve not to roll my eyes when you wear that Santa sweater with the lighted beard.”

“I threw that away last year,” Walter said. “After I spilled punch on it at the office party.”

Victoria smiled. “Exactly.”

“Ahh,” Walter said, nodding. “I see what you mean. Okay, so I resolve not to gripe about your Tuesday night billiards league.”

Victoria had dropped out of the league for the past year to volunteer for her local Democratic Party. She tapped her chin. “I was thinking of rejoining this year.”

“That’s fine,” Walter replied. “My resolution is retroactive. And completed.”

“But you’re still free to complain if I play pool again this year,” Victoria noted.

Walter put on his most serene smile.

“Happy New Year, mom and dad,” Tammy said, unbraiding her hair as she shuffled into the room. “What are you guys up to?”

“We’re writing our resolutions for last year,” Victoria said. “Your father finds them easier to keep that way.”

“Cool idea,” Tammy said. “Then I resolve not to knock on your bedroom door without listening first to find out if you’re doin’ the nasty.”

Silence hung in the air, save for the sound of coffee spraying from Walter’s lips. Ignoring her fourteen-year-old daughter’s grin, Victoria handed her husband a napkin.

“You did that again?” Sean asked as he shambled in searching for cereal, pop tarts, cold pizza, or perhaps all three. His twelve-year-old belly gurgled like the Queen Mary‘s bilge pump.

“Not since last New Year’s Eve,” Tammy replied. “But these are resolutions for last year. Dad says that’s easier. Kinda like rewind.”

“Hmm,” Sean said. “Then I resolve to kiss Rachel Phillips at the ice skating rink. Except in rewind … she doesn’t slap me.”

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Have fun!

  • winterbanyan

    Victoria and Walter exchanged looks and said simultaneously said, “You’re only twelve!”

    Sean shrugged.

    Tammy snickered and said, “I don’t think they mean rewind like that.”

    “Absolutely not!” came the parental chorus.

    “Then why bother?”

  • NCrissieB

    Tammy smiled. “Besides, there’s no way Rachel Phillips will kiss you again after that.”

    “I know,” Sean said. “That’s why I can’t make it a resolution for 2013. I guess I shouldn’t have had that frog in my mouth when I got my chance.”

    Victoria glared at her son. “You what?!?”

    “It was a rubber frog, mom. I kissed her as a stupid joke. Last year.”

    Realization dawned. Victoria smiled. “And if you had it to do over….”

    Sean half-nodded and half-shrugged. “Who ate all the leftover pizza?”

    Walter belched.

  • addisnana

    “I’m going to resolve to gain exactly 7 pounds,” said Walter loosening his belt and belching again. “And I ate the rest of the pizza.”

    Sean opened the refrigerator and stared in search of something to eat. “What’s in here that I like, Mom?” he asked.

    Tammy piped up, “There’s frog legs in the container with the red lid.”

    “Yuck” groaned Sean. “Mom?”

    “Oh Sean,” replied Victoria, “There’s more pizza in the freezer in the garage. I think I will resolve to buy only pants with elastic waistbands. They are so comfortable and forgiving. It’s a resolution that I did quite well on.”

  • NCrissieB

    “And you look great in them,” Walter said. “I like the way they hug your curves.”

    “More curves than ever,” Victoria said.

    “More cushion for pushin,’” Walter said.

    Victoria blushed. Tammy gasped. Sean paled.

    “Well there went my appetite,” Sean said.

    “Try walking in on them,” Tammy said, nodding.