More about the autor

Midday Matinee – Tuesday’s Tale: The Sort-of-Secret Santa List

November 27, 2012

Midday Matinee

Midday Matinee – Tuesday’s Tale: The Sort-of-Secret Santa List

“So who did everyone get for Secret Santa?” Calvin asked.

“Doesn’t that kinda ignore the whole ‘secret’ part of Secret Santa?” David replied (More)

Midday Matinee is our people watching, people doing and people being feature. Join the Woodland Creatures for an afternoon break.

Welcome back to Tuesday’s Tale, a weekly feature where we collaborate to write a story. Previous Tuesday’s Tales include The Post-Election Auction and What a Turkey! We follow the basic rules of the “Yes, And” improvisational game – accept everything written so far as part of the story, and add your own paragraph (or so) where the last addition left off – except you needn’t begin your addition with “Yes, and.” I’ll start the story….


“Of course it does,” Eve said as they climbed in the car. “But you kids don’t know your aunts and uncles as well as your father and I do. So we can help you shop.”

“That makes sense,” Faye conceded. She pulled a folded square of paper from her pocket and opened it. “Okay, I got Uncle Lee.”

“Oh dear,” Eve replied.

“What?” Fay asked.

“Yes,” Calvin agreed. “I don’t think they’ll sell her shotgun shells.”

“And he’ll complain if he gets anything else,” Eve said with a sigh. “He does, every year. Even when you bought him the camouflage wallet for his hunting trips.”

“Notice he does carry it, though,” Calvin said.

“True,” Eve said. “Maybe camouflage socks?”

“Maybe. We’ll think about it,” Calvin said. “So David, who did you get?”

“Aunt Maureen,” David said.

Calvin looked at Eve and shook his head. “No way.”

“No,” Eve said. “No way. But he could get batteries, I suppose.”

“Batteries for what?” David asked.

“Never mind,” Calvin and Eve replied in unison.

“Who did you guys get?” Faye asked.

Eve opened their slips of paper. “Your brother Niles. My sister Octavia.”

Calvin smiled. “Is that butcher on Grady Avenue still open?”

“You wouldn’t,” Eve said, winking.


Have fun!

  • Lake Toba

    “No,” said Calvin. “But it could be fun!”

  • winterbanyan

    “How can you get a Christmas present at a butcher shop?” Faye wanted to know.

    “That’s what they make freezers for,” Eve said.

    David piped up. “But Uncle Niles hates liver. He never eats it when Grandma makes it.”

    “He wouldn’t eat it,” Calvin said, sending Eve into the giggles.

    “What’s so funny?” Faye demanded.

    “Never mind,” Eve managed to say firmly. “And cross that off. There are limits. We’ll have to find something else. Children and all that.”

    “I hate it,” David said to Faye, “when they think they can’t tell us because we’re kids. I know what I’d do with that liver.”

    Calvin hit the brakes so hard all the seatbelts locked.

  • addisnana

    From the back seat, David piped up, “So forget the liver. One of my friends and his dad made a pair of flashing boxer shorts for one of his uncles. Little LED lights lined the fly and they were powered by a 9 volt battery. Think we could do that for Uncle Niles or if we found camouflage boxers it might work for Uncle Lee.”

  • winterbanyan

    “It would go with the liver,” Eve said sweetly.

  • NCrissieB

    “And if you can hook the lights up to a cell phone buzzer, it would work for Aunt Maureen too,” Faye said.

    Calvin gave the brakes another workout. “What gave you that idea, young lady?”

    “Oh please, dad,” Faye said. “She stayed with us for a week and I have been to slumber parties.”

    “You probably shouldn’t have mentioned that last bit,” Eve said, wincing.

    “You’ve been to your last slumber party!” Calvin announced.

    “What’s going on?” David asked.

    “Never mind!” his parents and sister replied in unison.

    “Fine!” David replied. “Then I won’t tell you what Aunt Octavia asked for.”

  • winterbanyan

    Someone laid on the horn behind them, and Calvin jerked them over to the curb. Then both he and Eve whipped their heads around and demanded in one voice, “What did Octavia ask for?”

    David scowled and refused to answer.

    “I know,” Faye said. “It was a movie called Triple X.”

    “Traitor!” David shouted. “It was the X-Men.”

    Faye shook her head. “You weren’t listening!”

  • addisnana

    Calvin sighed. “Is this Christmas going to be remembered as Fifty Shades of Red ? I realize you two are almost teenagers, but really!”

  • Lake Toba

    “Octavia???” Calvin gasped. The car lurched into a parking lot. “I do not believe where this conversation has gone.”

    “Good choice Dad!”


    Faye giggled. “It says XXX on the sign!”

  • NCrissieB

    “Okay, everyone take a deep breath,” Eve said.

    “Not too deep,” Calvin said as he steered the car back toward the street. “We don’t know what people have been exhaling around here.”

    “I don’t get it,” David said.

    “Never mind!” Faye said, looking at the front seat for the echo that never came.

    Calvin pulled into the parking lot for a dry cleaner, with his mental emphasis on both “dry” and “cleaner.” Up the street was Rock of Faith Redeemer Community Church. He was sure that if he pulled directly into that lot … the oft-discussed but out-of-season lightning would strike.

    “Kids,” Calvin said, “we need to talk.”

    “Is this gonna be about sex?” David asked. “Coz if it is, I read sis’ health class pamphlet and I’m not interested. Ever.”

    “Umm, that pamphlet was about my feminine cycle,” Faye said. “You won’t need to worry about that, little brother.”

    “It sounded gross,” David said.

    “It kinda feels gross sometimes,” Eve conceded.

    She paused in thought. She looked at Calvin.

    “No,” he said. “Don’t even suggest it. Don’t even think it.”

    “What?” Faye asked.

    “Never mind!” her parents replied in unison.