Furthermore! – Republicans Have a Powell Movement

Former Secretary of State Colin Powell endorsed President Barack Obama yesterday. In case you haven’t heard yet, Republicans insist it’s because they both have two-syllable first names. (More)

Okay, it’s not really because they both have two-syllable first names. Obviously, Colin Powell wouldn’t be so silly as to endorse a presidential candidate based on something so superficial. Still, there’s something about Powell and something about Obama and … hrmm….

It started with Sen. John McCain saying this:

General Powell, you disappoint us and you have harmed your legacy even further by defending what is clearly the most feckless foreign policy in my lifetime.

Okay, sure. The guy who picked Governor Airspace as his running mate, the “maverick” who embraced the right wing to get the Republican nomination, the guy who lost 2008 in a landslide, the guy who would be long forgotten except for his weekly appearances on the Sunday morning news shows … that guy going to talk to Colin Powell – our nation’s first black Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and first black Secretary of State – about his “legacy?”

Puh-leeze.

Then Romney advisor John Sununu had to weigh in because, well, he had a chance to say something stupid and he can’t resist….

“Frankly when you take a look at Colin Powell whether that’s an endorsement based on issues or whether he’s got a slightly different reason for preferring President Obama,” Sununu told CNN.

“What reason would that be?” asked host Piers Morgan.

“Well, I think when you have somebody of your own race that you’re proud of being President of the United States, I applaud Colin for standing with him,” responded Sununu.

That’s right up there with CNN saying women vote their menstrual cycles. As Glamour‘s Maggie Malton summarized it:

According to Kristina Durante of UT San Antoino, single women feel “sexier” when estrogen is high and tend to have more liberal attitudes on things like abortion and marriage equality. Married women also have these similar, sexy-high levels of estrogen, but being in a committed relationship means that they may be “overcompensating for the increase of the hormones motivating them to have sex with other men. It’s a way of convincing themselves that they’re not the type to give in to such sexual urges,” Durante says. As a result, she concludes they adopt a more conservative point of view to fight these sexy urges.

So, if women truly voted with their hormones, this race would be between Ben and Jerry, not Obama and Romney, right? Or would we all skip voting because, ugh!, we feel so bloated and it’s kind of rainy outside so why don’t we just stay in, order sushi, and watch the Real Housewives episodes sitting in our DVR? I kid, I kid. I think it’s safe to say that we’d ALL vote and we’d ALL cast a ballot for the same write-in candidate: “Ryan Gosling in The Notebook.”

Fortunately, CNN had the good grace to pull that article down. But John Sununu probably won’t because, well, what he said wasn’t racist. You see, it’s the black voters who support President Obama who are “the real racists.” The overwhelming margin of southern whites who support Romney obviously have good reasons.

Just like white, straight, male judges are clearly unbiased when it comes to issues of race, sexual orientation, or gender … but black or Hispanic judges, or known LGBTs, or women should recuse themselves if a case involves someone like them. They have an obvious conflict of interest, don’t ya know….

The other possibility is that Colin Powell was being honest when he said:

When he took over, the country was in very, very difficult straits, we were in one of the worst recessions we had seen in recent times, close to a depression … we were in real trouble. I think generally we’ve come out of the dive and starting to gain altitude. I see that we are starting to rise up.

And, equally, that Powell was being honest when he added:

I’m not quite sure which Governor Romney we’d be getting with respect to foreign policy.

Neither view is uncommon. Yesterday’s Public Policy Polling survey of the whiter-than-the-USA-overall state of Colorado showed most voters there agreed with Powell on both issues. Maybe they’re agreeing because Colorado has the same number of syllables as Honolulu.

Or maybe Republicans should stop guzzling laxatives before they talk to the media.

Good day and good nuts.