Furthermore! – Conservatism and the Court of World Obeisance

Mitt Romney wants the World Court to indict Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad for “genocide incitation,” but conservatives are outraged that international observers will monitor U.S. elections … again. (More)

I shouldn’t be surprised, as I’m doing my thesis on 21st Century Political Nuttitude, but Mrs. Squirrel was worried I might choke as I read the news. I’d just taken a nibble of macadamia and was in mid-swallow when I saw yet another paranoid conspiracy theory emerge on the right: that leftists have called in foreign poll watchers to block President Obama’s inevitable defeat. Never mind that the U.S. is a member of the Organization for Security and Co-Operation in Europe and the OSCE send delegations to monitor all members’ federal elections. Indeed as ThinkProgress noted:

In fact, the OSCE, unknown to many of those panicking today, has had monitors present to observe every national U.S. election for the past decade. Reports have been issued by monitors for the midterm elections in 2002, 2006, and 2010, as well as the Presidential elections of 2004 and 2008. In none of those instances did the presence of monitors affect the outcome or votes cast.

You might think that means conservatives believe foreigners have no right to intrude on other countries’ internal politics. If so, I’d like to sell you a bridge between two big maple trees in the Sahara Desert. They’re just fine with foreigners intruding on other countries’ internal politics … so long as they’re doing the intruding.

Take Mitt Romney, for example, who wants the World Court to indict Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad for “genocide incitation.” Even his campaign staff aren’t entirely sure that that means, with some saying Romney was referring to President Ahmadinejad’s comments about Israel and others saying Romney meant the Iranian leader’s repression of his own people.

I’m not sure why his advisors are confused, as I watched the debate and I knew exactly what Romney meant: “My tail is bigger than yours.”

Okay, he didn’t mean “tail,” because humans don’t have tails. But squirrels do, and when we argue we flick our tails around to assert dominance. Kind of like human males do with their … well, I’m sure you’ve figured out the allusion.

It’s unlikely the World Court would indict President Ahmadinejad based on mere words. In fact, I hope conservatives would reject any such indictment, as plenty of them have made hateful statements that the World Court might also review. But that would only worry conservatives if they believed the World Court should be allowed to indict U.S. citizens, and of course that’s “One World Government.” Next thing you know, you’ll be paying taxes to build bike paths. Oh, the horror.

Anyway, the point is, World Court indictments – like international elections observers – are supposed to remind Those People that the correct response when someone like Mitt Romney says “Jump!” is “Yes, sir! How high, sir?”

Indeed Romney’s chief complaint during Monday night’s debate was that President Obama let those Tunisians and Libyans and Egyptians to overthrow their dictators without sufficient U.S. “leadership” from “a position of strength.” You could almost hear the powerlifter grunts as Romney took up the white man’s burden of deciding when and under what conditions Those People might embrace democracy.

The fact is, conservatives don’t care about the court of world opinion. They, and Mitt Romney, expect a court of world obeisance.

Good day and good nuts.