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Morning Feature – What He Thinks He Thinks? (Ask Ms. Crissie)

October 21, 2012

Morning Feature

Morning Feature – What He Thinks He Thinks? (Ask Ms. Crissie)

“Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum, cogito,” Professor Plum said. “I think I think, therefore I think I am, I think.”

Clearly he read the mail. (More)

Professor Plum then left with Ms. Scarlet to join the resident faculty in the wine cellar library, where they’ll spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”).

The Professor of Astrology Janitor shrugged and returned to thinking about whether to think about folding a pair of Kings after Chef bet on the Ace-Jack-Jack flop. If Chef had an Ace, she had a higher pair. If she had a Jack, she had three of a kind. If she had Ace-Jack, she’d flopped a full house, though it seemed unlikely she would bet out with so powerful a hand. Or she might want him to think she had made a tentative bet with an Ace, hoping he would try to bluff as if he had a Jack, but of course she would have a Jack and she would string him along and he would lose even more. He began his plaintive mewling even before he folded his Kings. Chef graciously showed him her Ace and Jack of Hearts, then offered to teach him how to flip a Cheese and Chive Omelet. They headed for the kitchen, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

I was stunned to hear that President Obama said I have Romnesia, and that was a very unpresidential thing to say. So I think it’s time to make my positions perfectly clear.

Let’s take abortion. As my wife said, I have always been a pro-life person, I governed, when I ran, uhmm, as pro-choice, because when I am asked if I am I pro-choice or pro-life, I say I refuse to accept either label. But there’s no legislation with regards to abortion that I’m familiar with that would become part of my agenda and that’s why I would of course support legislation aimed at providing greater protections for life.

Or take campaign finance. My own view is now we tried a lot of efforts to try and restrict what can be given to campaigns, we’d be a lot wiser to say you can give what you’d like to a campaign. I think it’s an extraordinary conflict of interest and something that should be addressed when the person sitting across the table from an elected official is their biggest campaign contributor and that’s why I think we have to get the money out of the teachers unions going into campaigns. But there is nothing illegal about you talking to your employees about what you believe is best for the business, because I think that will figure into their election decision, their voting decision and of course doing that with your family and your kids as well.

Or let’s talk about marriage. Marriage is a relationship between one man and one woman, and that’s why I signed the pledge for the National Organization for Marriage, but I’m also a very strong advocate for the Tenth Amendment and it’s a state issue. That’s why I support a federal marriage amendment to the Constitution that defines marriage as an institution between a man and a woman and, consistent with the Tenth Amendment, it should be left to states to decide whether to grant same-sex couples certain benefits, such as hospital visitation rights and the ability to adopt children. I referred to the Tenth Amendment only when speaking about these kinds of benefits – not marriage.

So that’s what I think and if you disagree I have binders full of other thoughts.

Mitt in La MANHCA

Dear Mitt,

We suggest you accept the diagnosis of Romnesia. The alternative – that you could swallow a nail and cough up a corkscrew – is even less endearing.

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

Chef is giving lessons in how to flip an omelet? I want one, please. Actually both. The lesson and the omelet. Oh dear, did that sound like Mitt in La MANHCA?

Fearful of Flipping in Blogistan

Dear Fearful of Flipping,

You may relax, as we knew you meant both the lesson and the omelet. To make a Cheese and Chive Omelet, Chef first wisks two eggs while she melts a tablespoon of butter in a non-stick skillet over medium-low heat. Then she shakes the skillet while pouring the eggs in, and uses the edge of her spatula to tuck in the edges as the eggs begin to set up. She then sprinkles ½ of shredded white cheddar cheese and 1 Tbsp of freshly chopped chives over one-half of the omelet. Once the edges are set, she tilts the pan at a 45° angle, with the cheese-and-chive side lowered, and uses her spatula and gravity to fold over the other side of the omelet. She then slides the omelet onto a plate and garnishes it with a sprig of fresh parsley. Bon appétit!

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Sources:

Mitt in La MANHCA; “always been a pro-life person…ran, uhmm, as pro-choice;” “I refuse to accept either label;” “no legislation with regards to abortion;” “support legislation;” “you can give what you want to a campaign;” “have to get the money out of the teachers unions going into campaigns;” “talking to your employees about what you believe is best for the business;” “marriage between a man and a woman;” “signed a pledge;” “it’s a state issue;” “binders full of.”

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Happy Sunday!

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4 Responses to “Morning Feature – What He Thinks He Thinks? (Ask Ms. Crissie)”

  1. winterbanyan Says:

    Excellent skewering, Ms. Crissie. It is so perfectly Mitt. OTOH, I get afraid that too many people have heard only the Mitt they want to hear. There have been so many of him, he must fit into nearly every person’s opinions.

    Unfortunately, this doesn’t tell us a thing about who he will be if he becomes president. I doubt whether he even knows.

    • NCrissieB Says:

      We agree that it’s impossible to be certain who Mitt Romney would be as president, or even who he’ll campaign as next week. While voters know our candidates and elected officials try to put the best possible spin on events, we expect them to not spin themselves. We trust voters will decide not to take the Romney-go-round.

      Good morning! ::hugggggs::

  2. addisnana Says:

    The alternative – that you could swallow a nail and cough up a corkscrew – is even less endearing.

    This is too funny! What a line.

  3. Jim W Says:

    Mitt goes best when seasoned with conformation bias. Unless your conformation bias creates an inedible dish.