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Midday Matinee – Tuesday’s Tale: The Tech Geek Cometh

October 2, 2012

Midday Matinee

Midday Matinee – Tuesday’s Tale: The Tech Geek Cometh

“Hi, I’m from InstaTech,” Kelly said as the door opened. “You have a problem with your computer?”

“Yep,” Larry answered. “My video card has a synchronization error.” (More)

Midday Matinee is our people watching, people doing and people being feature. Join the Woodland Creatures for an afternoon break.

Welcome back to Tuesday’s Tale, a weekly feature where we collaborate to write a story. Previous Tuesday’s Tales include The Ice Cube Recipe Book and The Universal Dump Truck. We follow the basic rules of the “Yes, And” improvisational game – accept everything written so far as part of the story, and add your own paragraph (or so) where the last addition left off – except you needn’t begin your addition with “Yes, and.” I’ll start the story….

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“Why don’t you let her figure out what’s wrong, dear?” Maria asked. “She’s the expert, after all.”

“I’m just trying to help,” Larry said as he led Kelly back to his home office. “I have a three-point-two gigahertz CPU and a 25 megahertz video card. That has to be the problem.”

“I’m sure that meant something important,” Maria said, smiling at Kelly.

“I’m sure it did,” Kelly replied, returning the smile. She looked at Larry. “Let’s start at the beginning. What isn’t working?”

“I keep losing at Heroica,” Larry said. “That dragon on the fifth level eats me. It has to be a video synch error because I know I’m hitting him with my Hammer of Doom.”

Kelly nodded. “What else isn’t working?”

“Well, there’s Fighter Jock,” Larry replied. “I keep crashing on the carrier landings. Again, that has to be a video synch error, right?”

“Let’s take a look and see,” Kelly said.

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Have fun!

  • Lake Toba

    “So you are having problems with landing on the aircraft carrier and also with your Hammer of Doom.” Kelly touched the PC with an almost reverent air. “Video synchronization is one possibility, I’m sure. But its also possible that your ‘god-mode’ chip has a problem”

    “God-mode chip?” Maria asked.

    “Oh yes,” said Larry. “I’ve got the latest of those. But don’t those only have a problem when you are playing older games like King Jukem?” He looked at his PC worriedly.

    Kelly nodded. “Yes, but your micro god-mode firmware could need an update.”

    “Ah,” said Larry. “Where can I get that?”

  • NCrissieB

    “Fort Benning and Parris Island do a lot of it,” Kelly said. “Also the Naval Air Stations at Pensacola, Corpus Christi, and Meridian, and the Naval Special Warfare School at Coronado.”

    “Umm,” Larry said, “those sound like military bases.”

    “Well yes,” Kelly replied. “Those are the primary micro god-mode firmware installation sites. Unless you played college sports.”

    “Does the high school chess club count?” Larry asked.

    Kelly shook her head. “Only for strategy games.”

    Larry’s shoulders slumped. Maria looked anxiously at Kelly. “Isn’t there something in the computer you can fix to help?”

    “I could download the cheat codes for him,” Kelly said, sitting at the machine. “Do you have somewhere I can put these empty chip bags and cola cans?”

  • addisnana

    Maria piped up. “Does the god-mode chip take offense when the operator swears at the computer? How many ‘god-damn-its’ can the chip handle before it just gives up on the operator? Oh, and is there a different chip for agnostics and atheists?”

    Larry looked puzzled. “I am a believer,” he said.

    “But,” said Maria, “A believer in what, St. Mattresses?”

  • NCrissieB

    “I try to avoid technotheological disputes,” Kelly said cheerfully as she tapped away at the keyboard. “But I’ve found that most god-mode chips have a blue volume inverse performance algorithm.”

    “What does that mean?” Larry asked.

    “I think,” Maria said, nudging his arm, “she just suggested that the louder you curse, the worse you play.”

    “Ahh,” Larry said, nodding sagely. Then he paused. “Wait. The god-mode chip isn’t part of the computer? She’s saying the problem is … me?”

    “Not at all,” Kelly said. “The games’ difficulty levels are miscalibrated. You have them set for ‘Beginner’ and they need an easier level.”