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Morning Feature – More or Less? (Ask Ms. Crissie)

May 6, 2012

Morning Feature

Morning Feature – More or Less? (Ask Ms. Crissie)

“It’s nice,” Professor Plum said, sipping a glass of juice. “But I expected more. Or less.”

He read the mail. (More)

We said Chef would have breakfast ready later, and Professor Plum and Ms. Scarlet left to join the resident faculty in the wine cellar library, to spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”). The Professor of Astrology Janitor returned to pondering whether Chef had more or less than his three Eights. She raised before the flop, and bet again after a King, Eight, and Six came. He called each time, and was convinced she held an Ace-King when she checked after a Queen came on the turn. He bet with his Nines, and Chef called.

Chef bet the pot when a Five came on the river, prompting the Professor of Astrology Janitor’s confusion. There were no flush possibilities, and only the unlikely Nine-Seven for a straight. She might have begun with a pair of Kings, but she hadn’t played the hand as if she held three Kings. She might also have begun with a pair of Fives and made three-of-a-kind at the river. She might have begun with a King-Queen and made two pair. Or she might have been trying to buy the pot with only an Ace-King and a single pair. Of those, only the three Kings was better than his three Eights. The Professor of Astrology Janitor called and Chef turned over a pair of Queens. He began his plaintive mewling, and she left for the kitchen to make Perfect Scrambled Eggs, leaving your lowly mail room clerk to review the week’s correspondence….

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

The most newsworthy item about President Obama’s campaign kickoff speech in Ohio yesterday was not the talking points Obama delivered: it was the crowd… or lack thereof. According to ABC News, the Obama campaign had expected an “overflow” of people. Instead, the arena looked half-empty. It’s a campaign faux pas to hold an event in a room that isn’t full; to promise the media a more-than-capacity crowd then fall this far short of that promise is utter incompetence. In 2008, Obama ran a near-flawless campaign, buoyed by enthusiasm and effective organizing. But it’s not 2008 any more, and on day one of the 2012 campaign, Team Obama has already made an embarrassing blunder.

Alex in MA

Dear Alex,

We agree that campaigns prefer full venues, and thus wonder why Mitt Romney chose to hold an event at an almost empty Ford Field in Detroit during the February Michigan primary. We also note that, in 2008, President Obama had been campaigning full time for over a year, as Romney has been in 2012. Yet the president still spoke to 14,000 in Ohio, and a full house of 8,000 later that same day in Virginia. We also note that both crowds were larger, more active, and more diverse than any Romney has drawn so far. We suggest this was only an “embarrassing blunder” if one sets the bar impossibly high … for the opposing candidate.

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

The bar should be high. He’s the president, after all. Look at last month’s job numbers. Only 115,000 new jobs. We should be seeing numbers in the 500,000 jobs created per month. This is way, way, way off from what should happen in a normal recovery. And as for unemployment, anything over 8 percent, anything near 8 percent, anything over 4 percent, is not a cause for celebration.

Mitt in La MANHCA

Dear Mitt,

We congratulate you for offering specific numbers to describe your idea of economic recovery. Alas, we note that the U.S. economy has gained 500,000 jobs in one month only five times since 1970: twice under President Carter in 1978, once each under President Reagan in 1983 and President Clinton in 1997, and under President Obama in May 2010. The first four were due to workers returning from strikes, and the last was due to federal census hiring. We also note that since 1970 unemployment has dipped to 4% only once – from December 1999 to December 2000 – and you never achieved that as Governor of Massachusetts. We suggest that the next time you offer specific numbers, you seek a better source than Republistan Polirectal Institute.

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

I didn’t know that other place existed. If their numbers are always that bad, I hope Chef doesn’t get recipes from there. How does she make Perfect Scrambled Eggs?

Perfectly Hungry in Blogistan

Dear Perfectly Hungry,

Chef once looked at a recipe from that other place, but decided it wasn’t worth the effort to count and crack 500,000 quail eggs. To make her Perfect Scrambled Eggs, she cracks 8 eggs into a bowl with 2 heaping Tbsp of sour cream, 1 Tbsp of water, seasoned with salt and pepper to taste. She beats that mixture with a wire wisk until fluffy, then cooks the eggs in a buttered skillet over low heat, stirring occasionally. As the eggs near the desired consistency, she stirs in ½ cup of grated cheddar cheese. She serves Perfect Scrambled Eggs with breakfast sausage and toast. Bon appétit!

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Sources:

Alex in MA; Romney at almost empty Ford Field; Obama crowds larger, more active, and more diverse.

Mitt in La MANHCA; economy has gained 500,000 jobs in one month only five times since 1970; workers returning from strikes; unemployment dipped to 4% only once.

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Happy Sunday!


16 Responses to “Morning Feature – More or Less? (Ask Ms. Crissie)”

  1. winterbanyan Says:

    I am certainly glad you called Romney out on those job numbers, Ms. Crissie. They were certainly a figment of someone’s imagination.

    It’s particularly galling when the GOP has done everything possible to prevent job creation on the part of the government because they want to see Obama defeated.

    Your skewer was sharp, and I enjoyed it, but it also reminds me of all the work we have ahead of us. Some folks will believe those numbers. :(

    • NCrissieB Says:

      We agree that Republicans have done everything possible to prevent job creation by government. Indeed state and local governments have cut 611,000 jobs since 2009, including 196,000 educators. Moody Analytics’ Mark Zandi said those job losses are “the most serious weight on the job market.”

      Good morning! ::hugggggs::

      • Norbrook Says:

        Exactly. One of the things I’ve been hearing here is the impact of government cuts on the local economy. There’s a couple of state agencies up here that used to be major employers, and their current staffs have passed “minimal” and are heading towards “they’re still around?” The Dept. of Environmental Conservation used to be a major employer, both full-time and seasonally. There were forest rangers, ECO’s, and a sizable operations group. Right now, the rangers are at “bare minimum,” the ECO’s are down several slots, and the operations group is about a third the size it was 10 years ago, and even that is being generous considering that most of them are working a “limited schedule.” Seasonal hiring is way down, with campgrounds being cut to bare minimum, and trail crews and assistant forest rangers are a thing of the past.

        The local school districts are cutting back as well. When teachers retire, they’re not being replaced, or if it’s a ‘core requirement’ they’re trying to “share” teachers.

        • glendaw271 Says:

          We are seeing the same thing, Norbrook. What is particularly galling here is that Branstad has his goal set on eliminating the job services of this state, making it hard on those who still are unemployed. He seems to think that everyone should travel for miles to the few remaining offices or be able to go online. That’s just what the unemployed need, more difficulty in getting to the one resource working to help them get another job.

          And Branstad isn’t completely crazy. But he does like to get information from RPI. (Thanks for that one, Crissie!)

          • NCrissieB Says:

            The folks at Republistan Polirectal Institute seem to think if you kick people at the bottom hard enough and cushion people at the top well enough, the economy will work just fine. We note there is no empirical evidence for that theory….

            Good morning! ::hugggggs::

        • NCrissieB Says:

          The direct government job losses are bad, and those are only the first part of the economic drag. Add that unemployed former government workers now can’t spend money in local businesses, and other people not hired for lack of demand, and the multiplier effect escalates quickly.

          Good morning! ::hugggggs::

    • Gardener Says:

      Right, right, right as rain! Particularly to your second point about the GOP doing everything possible to prevent job creation…… We had “Slick” Mitch McConnel, Senate Minority Leader saying that his number one priority was seeing that BHO is a one-term president. Not defense, not jobs, jobs, jobs, not a dozen other valid concerns, no. Cheap political subterfuge and obstruction. THEN they complain the recovery isn’t what it should be? Give me a break!

  2. addisnana Says:

    It is going to be a long 6 months! Romney has made several statements about what he would do (repeal Obamacare on day 1) or create 500K jobs a month….that tell me that not only is he out of touch with average Americans, he is out of touch with facts, the powers of the President under the Constitution, reality generally speaking.

    • NCrissieB Says:

      We agree that Mitt in La MANHCA seems out of touch with … well … everything except himself and the fantasy world he believes he should govern.

      Good morning! ::hugggggs::

    • Gardener Says:

      Agreed, he and the rest of ‘em. They’re gonna do this, that, and the other, blah-blah-blah…… Apparently part of the scheme is to rule by executive fiat! ;-)

  3. Gardener Says:

    Say Chef………. That scrambled egg thingy low chloresterol??? ;-)

    • NCrissieB Says:

      Chef says “It’s low cholesterol relative to other things you shouldn’t eat unless you’re a polar bear.”

      We suppose that’s an answer….

      Good morning! ::hugggggs::

    • glendaw271 Says:

      Hey, Gardener, you could use egg whites and make it so. Of course, you could also add a few veggies and make it healthier, too.

      I’m getting good at that kind of stuff, as I have my cholesterol down almost into the normal range. I told the doctor I would NOT, under any circumstances, take drugs for cholesterol again, so I have to be good.