No one won the BPI Staff Kentucky Derby Pool. It seems ImaFastHorse wasn’t actually in the field. We were misinformed. (More)
Everyone on the BPI staff chose ImaFastHorse. He sounded a like a smarter bet than WheresTheFinishLine, AreWeDoneYet, and MyJockeyNeedsaDiet. The other horses were MyOwnerPicksStupidNames and YouTryWritingThisWithaHoofOnThatSlotByTheStallDoor.
Given those choices, I’m sure you would have put your hard-earned dime on ImaFastHorse too. Alas he scratched, probably because he was drawing his escape plan on the floor. So everyone got their dimes back. Well, not their own dimes. I’m sure those got confused in the bowl on the mail room desk. But a dime. And because we’d all chosen the same horse, that’s what would have happened even if ImaFastHorse had not tried to draw that escape plan. (Note to other horses: remove shoes before drawing on the stall floor. Seriously.)
That leaves the other big race, and there was lots of news about that this week too….
Have an android press that link for more of The Onion‘s War for the White House.
But apparently Romney also took a break this week after Newt Gingrich’s withdrawal marked the end the bruising Republican primary race….
Romney Pays Surprise Visit to his Money in the Caymans – by Andy Borowitz (The Borowitz Report)
No Timetable for Withdrawal, Says Presumptive Nominee
CAYMAN ISLANDS (The Borowitz Report) – In an uncharacteristically emotional scene for the presumptive GOP nominee, Mitt Romney today paid a surprise visit to his money in the Cayman Islands.
Speaking in a bank vault surrounded by stacks of cash, Mr. Romney praised his money for “the brave work you have done in the never-ending fight for freedom from Federal income tax.”
“Thanks to your hard work, losers around the world are envious of me,” he added. ”For that I salute you.”
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President Obama also had a tumultuous week as he reached out to a key demographic….
Obama vs. Oprah: There Can Only Be One – by Nick Wiger, Ryan Perez, Reggie Brown (Funny or Die)
Use the farce on that link for more Funny or Die videos.
The bad news is that ImaFastHorse is on the BPI Staff Preakness Pool. I guess his escape plan didn’t work.