The resident faculty left a three-foot tall model skyscraper in the hallway outside the mail room. We hope it was a clue. (More)
First our thanks to last week’s writers:
On Tuesday, Winning Progressive urged us to Keep Up the Pressure On ALEC and Its Supporters in Morning Feature, the Squirrel debunked ALEC defenders with If You Can’t Stand the Heat in Furthermore!, readers collaborated on Tuesday’s Tale: Drive-Thru in the Courts in Midday Matinee, and winterbanyan reported on Dyslexia and Language Sounds in Our Earth.
On Wednesday, Lake Toba warned about 401Ks and the Lure of the Action in Morning Feature, the Squirrel dissected Romney’s ‘Unfairness’ Fantasies in Furthermore!, addisnana mused on when a job is Good Enough! in Midday Matinee, and winterbanyan shared Mapping Potato Genes to Feed the Hungry in Our Earth.
On Thursday, we began our series on horse race media election coverage with Why So Much Manure? in Morning Feature, and winterbanyan reported on the work of park service volunteers at the Antietam Memorial in Midday Matinee and on EPA Awards for Environmental Innovation in Our Earth.
On Friday, we continued our series on horse race media coverage with Polls and Stories of Polls in Morning Feature, triciawyse brought us Frieday Critters in Midday Matinee, and winterbanyan asked Who Benefits from Nature Tourism? in Our Earth.
On the weekend, we concludes our series on horse race media coverage with Staying Sane in Saturday’s Morning Feature, Ms. Crissie was asked if President Obama is Too Cool? in Sunday’s Morning Feature, Winning Progressive brought us Weekend Reading in Furthermore!, winterbanyan reflected on Finding “The One”: Desmond Tutu in Midday Matinee, we chuckled at Silly Sunday: No Such Thing as a Sure Thing in Evening Focus, and winterbanyan brought our weekly Eco News Roundup in Our Earth.
Note: Please share your stories of offline political activism in Things We Did This Week.
Thus we return to the three-foot tall model skyscraper left outside the mail room by the resident faculty, as they made their way from the
wine cellar library where they spent the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”) to the hot tub faculty lounge for their weekly game where the underwear goes flying planning conference.
The staff first thought this might be an architectural model for the new BPI Student Union. We decided against that idea for several reasons. First, the Faculty Senate haven’t discussed building a new Student Union, let alone held the requisite six-hour debate on whether to take a bathroom break before voting on the issue. Even if they had, skyscrapers are hardly in the BPI budget.
The Squirrel suggested the model might not be a model, but an actual squirrel addition to the existing Student Union. But Chef noted that none of the doors or windows open and squirrel students would have to chew through the walls to get inside. Moreover, there seemed to be no stairs or elevators between floors. All in all, the prospect of it being an actual Squirrel Student Union seemed remote.
Professor of Astrology Janitor was distressed to discover that the model had been built on a wooden box he built to sit on while looking up at the stars to research the weekly Bippiescopes. It has a tray attached to hold his notes, along with a pouch for cleaning rags. Worse, the resident faculty had not only used his box as the foundation for their model. They also left a note in his research tray that read:
We made this completely on our own.
“That’s not even close to true,” the
Professor of Astrology Janitor said. “First, it’s a plastic model. They just glued it together. And second, they used my box for their foundation!”
Chef brought him a bagel with cream cheese to help him calm down, but that only revived memories of The Cream Cheese Incident. Fortunately, the Professor of Astrology did not start another argument with the Janitor; the two of him simply gave the bagel to your lowly mail room clerk and then went to the kitchen for a cup of yogurt. (Note: The Professor of Astrology likes strawberry yogurt, while the Janitor will only eat banana. Fortunately the yogurt company knows this.)
That took care of breakfast for the
Professor of Astrology Janitor and your lowly mail room clerk. Alas, we still hadn’t sorted out the resident faculty’s clue for the week. “They say they made this all on their own,” we mused between swallows, “but that’s obviously another campus myth.”
“Aha!” the Squirrel texted on his Blewberry. He tapped and scrolled, his ears and tail twitching, and scrolled and tapped some more. “I bet they’re going to talk about this new book titled The Self-Made Myth: The Truth About How Government Helps Individuals and Businesses Succeed, by Brian Miller and Mike Lapham of United for a Fair Economy.”
We hope he’s right. If not, we hope the resident faculty take this up with the Faculty Senate quickly. The
Professor of Astrology Janitor needs his box back.