The resident faculty left a Kentucky Derby preview form outside the mail room. The staff hope it was a clue. (More)

First our thanks to last week’s writers:

On Monday, the Squirrel discussed the trust deficit roots of The Buffett-ing Storm in Furthermore!, addisnana mused on the new season of Minnesota Sprinter in Midday Matinee, and winterbanyan saw how an Acidic Ocean Kills Oyster Hatcheries in Our Earth.

On Tuesday, Winning Progressive explored why An Etch-A-Sketch Won’t Stand Up to the Right Wing in Morning Feature, we criticized how Radical Judges Assert ‘Economic Liberty’ Right in Furthermore!, readers collaborated on Tuesday’s Tale: Leave It to Beavers in Midday Matinee, and winterbanyan described A New Way to Learn: the Visual Cortex in Our Earth.

On Wednesday, Winning Progressive asked Questions for Mitt Romney on Guns and the NRA in Morning Feature, addisnana shared tales from The Diner in Midday Matinee, and winterbanyan reported on Emperor Penguins: Census by Satellite in Our Earth.

On Thursday, we began a series on Sustaining Hope with Looking Back in Morning Feature, triciawyse brought us Fursdai Furries in Midday Matinee, and Smartypants offered polling insights on Obama’s Advantage in Evening Focus.

On Friday, we continued the series on Sustaining Hope with Looking Forward in Morning Feature, triciawyse shared Frieday Critters in Midday Matinee, and winterbanyan found IceCube Studies Origins of Cosmic Rays in Our Earth.

On the weekend, we concluded the series on Sustaining Hope with Talking Around Hope in Saturday’s Morning Feature, Ms. Crissie was asked Want Cheese with that Whine? with Sunday’s Morning Feature, and winterbanyan brought our weekly Eco News Roundup in Our Earth.

Note: Please share your stories of offline political activism in Things We Did This Week.

Thus we return to the Kentucky Derby preview form left outside the mail room by the resident faculty, as they made their way from the wine cellar library where they spent the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”) to the hot tub faculty lounge for their weekly game where the underwear goes flying planning conference. As Ms. Scarlet doesn’t wear hats and we’ve never seen her or any other resident faculty sipping mint juleps, the staff decided this must be a clue.

The Squirrel quickly began tapping on his Blewberry. Soon both he and his tail twitched upright. Pootie the Precious texted on her iHazPhone to ask what was wrong. The Squirrel replied: “Two jockeys are going to ride two horses each, and two other jockeys are going to ride three horses each.”

Chef thought that ridiculous and checked her laptop. Sure enough, that was the latest report. The Professor of Astrology Janitor said those must be preliminary jockey assignments. “I hope so,” the Squirrel texted. “If not, those horses better run really close together.”

“I still don’t see why the resident faculty would care about a horse race,” Chef said. No sooner had the words left her lips then the thought came to her. “Except for that other horse race.”

“Da Bleakness?” Pootie the Precious asked.

“I think you mean the Preakness,” the Squirrel replied. “But Chef was talking about the presidential election horse race.”

“Dey haz 2 ride horsez now?” Pootie the Precious texted. “Will dey chase spongee ballz nekst?”

“It’s a metaphor,” the Squirrel explained. “It means talking about the election in terms of who’s winning or losing, day by day.”

“But no 1 haz voted yet,” Pootie the Precious typed. “How can dey B winning or losing alreddy?”

The staff agreed that Pootie the Precious had a point, and we hope this week the resident faculty will explore and challenge the horse race-style election coverage. Some weeks, it really does seem like “Da Bleakness.”


Happy Monday!