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Evening Focus – Silly Sunday: Confusion Day Edition

April 15, 2012

Our Evening Focus

Evening Focus – Silly Sunday: Confusion Day Edition

Enter the total from Line 44 from Schedule A in Line 91 on Line 18 of Schedule C, then subtract the total from Line … oh hi. (More)

It shouldn’t be this difficult to program a DVR to record Surviving The Race. That’s a new reality show where they put political candidates on an island, where they have to sing archipelago for a nine-judge panel. At the end of each episode, viewers call or text to decide which candidate spends the next week in a house with six teenagers. (I think that’s when we find out how much they value mothers.) At least I think that’s how the rules work. I’ll know more if I can ever watch it, which I can’t until I figure out how to set the DVR for Squirrel Standard Time. I think that involves moving his travel expenses from Schedule G-for-Grumpy to Schedule M-for-Macadamias.

Anyway, before the batteries on my remote die, welcome to Silly Sunday: Confusion Day Edition!

We start with (probably) unintentional humor about the Secret Service agents sent home for unauthorized entertainment expenses….

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Assassination Columbia: What If It Ain’t About Whores? – by Gordon Duff (Veterans Today)

Cartagena, Columbia (VT) – The story, one a child wouldn’t believe, is that our Secret Service and Army advance teams, those that arrange for presidential security, were arrested for failing to pay one or more whores for “services rendered.”

The real deal is very probably this:

At least one of the members of the presidential detail is suspected of working with foreign nationals to arrange the assassination of President Obama.

Put some tin foil on that link for more.

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In equally plausible news….

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Charles Manson Denied Parole, Effectively Ending His Bid for Republican Presidential Nomination – by Andy Borowitz (The Borowitz Report)

KINGS COUNTY, CA (The Borowitz Report) – Serial killer Charles Manson was denied parole yesterday, effectively ending his bid for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination.

With Mr. Manson no longer a contender, the path appears to be clear for former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney to become the party’s nominee.

Perhaps in recognition of this development, Mr. Romney unveiled a new campaign slogan today: “Sorry, But You Have No Other Choices Now.”

Put your file on that link for more.

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No, not Schedule T-for-Tree. Hrmm. Line 11 from Schedule N-for-Nuts?

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Gingrich Urges Romney To Drop Out So He Can Focus On General Election – (The Onion)

RALEIGH, NC – Following Rick Santorum’s announcement Tuesday that he would end his bid for the Republican presidential nomination, candidate Newt Gingrich called upon frontrunner Mitt Romney to drop out of the race so the former House speaker could concentrate on the general election. “While I respect my challenger’s right to fight through to the bitter end, the time has now come to unite behind one man so we can take back the White House in November,” said Gingrich, addressing a crowd of 35 supporters at the Raleigh County Public Library.

Give that link the finger for more.

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Wow, 35 was the number of the channel on Line 43 of Schedule HF-for-Hot Tub-Faculty-Lounge. If I carry the one and divide by the square root of two….

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North Korea Expelled from Axis of Evil – by Andy Borowitz (The Borowitz Report)

PYONGYANG (The Borowitz Report) – Just hours after an embarrassing launch of a rocket that crashed to the ground in a little over a minute, North Korea suffered another blow to its prestige as it was expelled from the Axis of Evil.

The decision was announced by the presiding Chairman of the Axis of Evil, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who cited as the reason for the expulsion North Korea’s evident “lack of evil.”

Launch on that link for more.

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Maybe those North Korean rocket scientists forgot to move a number from Line 104 of Schedule T-for-Target. They weren’t the only ones….

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General Mills Pulls Nitroglycerin Chex From Store Shelves – by Doyle Redland (The Onion)

Put the red wire on that link for more Onion Radio News.

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Success! I think I set it up to record on time. I guess I’ll know tomorrow, if I end up watching Filing With The Stars…..

  • addisnana

    Kudos to you Crissie for finding all the humor. In a burst of self-defense I have temporarily withdrawn from News Overload Syndrome, or NOS. Too much news is detrimental to my natural sense of optimism and resiliency. Seeing the silly rounded up here is a wonderful gift and I thank you!

  • Jim W

    News of the day-

    U.S. Trade Representative Ron Kirk told reporters in the Caribbean city of Cartagena that the trade deal Obama signed in October would be implemented on May 15, months ahead of what most trade watchers had anticipated.

    AFL-CIO President Richard Trumka said “We regret that the administration has placed commercial interests above the interests of workers and their trade unions.”

    Is obama moving to the center, or is he getting this action out of the way?

  • winterbanyan

    Thanks so much for the humor, Crissie. It was very much needed after the past week. As long as we can laugh, we’re okay. Thanks for reminding me I can still laugh!